


Lost Without You

by BeccaBear93



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Breaking Up & Making Up, Fluff, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-08 04:24:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 28,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7743265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccaBear93/pseuds/BeccaBear93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Mark and Jack break up even though they still love each other, and have to spend some time relearning each other and themselves before they're ready to try again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternatively: The one where Mark and Jack are fucking idiots, but Wade and Lily are the best friends and hug them a lot and support them and help bring them back to their senses.
> 
> Yes, Lily. This one includes an OC eventually, which I don't usually do. It feels really weird, but I'm sticking with it anyways because one of her scenes is one of the first I wrote and I actually really liked it. However, if OCs bother you, I perfectly understand if you pass over this one.
> 
> For my last few fics, I tried to write 1,000+ words for most chapters, but I think I'm just going to stop wherever it feels right for this one. That may mean short chapters sometimes (like today), but they'll also come out faster and probably seem a lot less awkward. Anyways, let's get going! I really hope you guys like this one, even if it is kind of sad at the beginning (I promise it gets happier eventually).

“I can’t do this anymore. We’re done.”

Jack watched his boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?) in silence, hoping for some sign of anger. He wished they were fighting. Maybe then, they could apologize and talk it out and have make-up sex and be done with it.

Instead, Mark just looked tired. He scrubbed a hand over his face and looked at Jack like he was pleading with him to understand, and he just looked… _So. Fucking. Tired._

Jack could relate.

“I know,” he said, but he had to bite his lip and look away to prevent himself from crying.

“I love you, Sean.”

The use of his real name made Jack jolt, and his face crumpled for a moment. He willed himself to hold on for just a bit longer. To keep his dignity just until Mark left. “I love you, too.”

The other man breathed in deeply, gathering himself up, and let it out on a long sigh. “But I have to leave.”

“I know,” Jack repeated. He bit his tongue. He didn’t beg Mark to stay like he so desperately wanted to. He didn’t remind him of how much better they were together than apart. He didn’t ask why. They had been slipping for far too long and he knew it.

“I’ll… I’ll go stay with Wade for tonight. I’ll pick my things up while you’re at work tomorrow.”

“Okay.” It would be easier that way, if they didn’t have to see each other.

“Okay. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye.” The word had never felt so final.


	2. Chapter 2

“Hi,” Mark said as soon as Wade answered the door. He waved and pasted on a smile.

“Hi…”

“Would you and Molly mind if I stayed over for tonight? Or… maybe for a few days?”

“Of course. I mean, of course we don’t mind. You can stay for as long as you need.” Wade’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t ask, moving aside to let his friend in.

Mark smiled gratefully and dropped his bag by the door. “Sorry for dropping in unannounced.”

“That’s alright, but why didn’t you just call?”

He shrugged, falling onto the couch. “I guess I just didn’t think about it. I was kind of wandering around for a while, just trying to clear my head.”

Wade hesitated, then dropped a hand on Mark’s shoulder, rubbing lightly. “I won’t push, but… You know I’m here if you want to talk about it, right?”

“Right. Thanks, Wade.”

“No problem.”

“I don’t really feel like talking right now, though. Honestly, I just want to not think for a while.”

“Alright, how about you pick a game or a movie or something? I’m gonna let Molly know you’re here, and then I’ll be right back.”

“Okay. Thanks.” Mark moved to crouch in front of the shelf in the corner, digging through Wade’s collection. He pulled out Overwatch, considering it for a moment. A memory flashed through his mind: him and Jack playing that same game, the two of them making stupid jokes and nudging each other and giggling into the early hours of the morning, until the taunts and shoves turned into whispered words and making out on the couch. He frowned, putting the game back, and grabbed Mario Kart instead. When Wade returned, he held it up, grinning triumphantly. “You ready to get your ass kicked?”

“Oh, you’re on.”

\-----

“Hey Mark?”

“Wh—Oh you fucking dickbag!” he shouted as Peach blue-shelled him. “What’s up?”

“Are you sure you don’t wanna talk about why you’re really here?”

Mark sighed, pausing the game. _I knew it was only a matter of time._ He stretched to stall for a few more seconds, then shrugged. “I broke up with Jack.”

The noise that left Wade’s mouth made him wonder if he’d choked on something. When Mark looked back, his friend was openly gaping at him. “What? I mean, I guess I kind of figured that you were fighting or something, but you actually broke up with him?” Mark nodded, and Wade’s breath left him in a huff. “Wow. Are you okay, buddy?”

He shrugged again. “I don’t know. I’m probably supposed to be really upset, right? But I barely feel it. Mostly I just feel… Numb. And tired. And… almost relieved, I guess? I spent so long trying to hold us together, and now it’s over.”

“You guys were together for what, three years?”

“Would have been, next month.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m so sorry, Mark,” Wade said, pulling his friend into a hug.

Mark hugged back, but pulled away after a few seconds, smiling weakly. “Don’t be. It’s for the best.”

“Does Jack think so too?”

“Why? Do you think I did the wrong thing?”

Wade sighed, looking to the ceiling as he contemplated the best way to word his thoughts. “I think that it’s none of my business, but that it’s a lot of history to throw away. I think that you’re both my friends. And I think that whatever makes you both happiest is ‘the right thing.’”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, Jack didn’t even argue.”

His eyes widened in surprise, but he nodded. “Okay.”

They sat in silence for a minute, and then Mark held up his controller. “Can we just play some more?” he asked, eyes pleading for distraction.

“Sure,” Wade said. And he stayed up with his best friend until Mark finally passed out at 5am. Then he turned the television off, covered him with a blanket, and snuck back into his own bed for a few hours.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys are enjoying this fic so far, but as a note: the next chapter is going to be delayed. We're leaving for a camping trip tomorrow, which means four days without internet, so no posting. I'll be bringing a notebook with me, but I don't know how much time I'll have to write (plus I'm just way slower with pen and paper than a keyboard). Hopefully I'll be able to post the next chapter when we get back on Wednesday, but I can't make any promises.
> 
> I guess this would also be as good a time as any to mention that in this AU, Mark is still a YouTuber but Jack is working a shitty minimum wage job that you'll see a bit of soon.

It would have been easier if he could pinpoint a moment, or an exact cause. If one of them had been cheating, or he’d decided to move back to Ireland, or they’d been screaming and fighting, or one of them had tried to take a step that the other wasn’t ready for. Instead, they just slowly fell apart. They barely had time to be together between work and rare moments of sleep, and they got irritated and passive-aggressive over the stupidest shit, and he never quite managed to fix it.

Jack tried not to blame himself, but that was easier said than done.

He tried not to think about Mark, but that too was easier said than done, especially when they shared all the same friends and there were little reminders of him everywhere in the apartment. An old flannel shirt that Jack had stolen and never given back, Mark’s favorite ice cream buried in the back of the freezer, a YouTube alert when he forgot to turn off notifications on his phone.

That last one had him staring at his phone for nearly half an hour, finger hovering over it. He finally gave in and tapped the screen, making it through five minutes before feeling overwhelmed. Then he closed out of the video and deleted the YouTube app entirely.

The apartment suddenly felt far too big and quiet without Mark’s voice and personality filling it anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, camping was a disaster for quite a few reasons, but the good news is that I have a chapter ready for you today! Also, when the next one is ready it will be a bit longer, I promise. :)
> 
> As a side note, this fic was inspired by several different songs. This chapter in particular was inspired by "Chokehold" by Adam Lambert.

Mark eyed the boxes piled in the corner of Wade’s living room, sneering in annoyance. “I really should’ve bothered to label these,” he muttered to himself as he opened up the first one, digging to find a game he’d promised to record soon. “Nope, not here…”

He opened the second box and froze, staring at the contents for a minute. It was full of his clothes, but right on the top was one of Jack’s favorite hoodies that he must have thrown in on accident. _I should give this back to him. Or just throw it away._ He couldn’t even fool himself, though. Instead, he slowly closed the box, pushed it aside, and moved to the next one. It stayed in the back of his mind for the rest of the day, though.

\-----

Later, after Molly and Wade went to bed, Mark turned off the light and laid down on the couch. He closed his eyes, but a few minutes later he caught himself tapping his foot. Sighing, he flipped onto his back and stared up, straining to see the ceiling in the darkness. His eyes adjusted and he fell into restless boredom again. _Just go to sleep_ , he scolded himself. Mark closed his eyes and tried counting sheep, but he knew what was really keeping him awake.

After a while, he sighed again, banging the back of his head against the arm of the couch. He crawled carefully to the boxes and pulled out the hoodie, slipping it on. It had been loose on Jack, so it didn’t fit too badly. Mark made his way back to the couch and laid down on his side, pillowing his head on his arms. He closed his eyes and, feeling absolutely pathetic, inhaled deeply.

Of course he knew that any scent that might have clung to it was long gone, but he could still imagine it: coffee, spice, and something purely Jack. He scrunched his eyes shut, ignoring the sudden stabbing pain and clinging to the memory instead. Mark buried his face into the sleeves, slowly relaxing and, eventually, drifting off.

That night, he dreamt of Jack—of the third anniversary they didn’t get, and the plans he would have made if they had.


	5. Chapter 5

_Hotel management. Ha. Why the fuck did I waste my time on that degree again?_ Jack wondered as he rung up another customer. He smiled and wished her a good day, then leaned back against the counter when she left. _Maybe I should actually try applying at a hotel…_

Before he could consider the idea any further, there was a shout behind him. “Hi, Jack!”

He jumped and turned around to see a woman twirling her dark brown hair around her finger and attempting to look innocent. She obviously wasn’t trying all that hard, though, because she still wore a huge grin.

“Holy fuck, Lily, you scared the shit outta me!” Jack said, putting a hand to his chest dramatically. “What would you have done if I just had a heart attack and died right here?”

“Hmm… Yeah, maybe I should be more careful,” she mused. “I don’t really wanna deal with the paperwork.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

“No I don’t.”

“You will when I tell you that I’m taking over and you can go on your lunch now.”

“I take it all back. I do love you. You’re an angel,” Jack said, clapping his hands together as though he were about to start praying.

“That’s what I thought,” Lily answered with a giggle. Making a shooing motion with her arms, she added, “Now go, before I change my mind.”

“Yes, ma’am!” He gave her a joking salute and headed for the break room. When he spotted the pizza boxes on the table, Jack nearly started drooling. He grabbed some and started eating, murmuring, “Thank you to whoever bought this…”

Jack munched on his pizza happily, but it didn’t last for long. This was when things always got bad, after all. These minutes in between work, when he didn’t keep busy and his mind started wandering. Even though he knew better, he let himself zone out and let the memories wash over him.

It hurt, and he suspected it always would.

By the time his break was over, Jack was struggling to let it go and get back into the right frame of mind to work. Apparently it showed on his face, because as soon as he returned, Lily asked, “Jack, are you okay?” He just bit his lip and, after a moment’s debate, shook his head. “What’s wrong?”

“Uh, it’s a… a long story. I’ll tell you later.” It really wasn’t long at all, but he wasn’t going to talk about it with all their coworkers and customers around. He clocked back in, flipped the light over his register back on, and forced a smile as someone started loading their purchases onto the counter.

“Alright, but… are you sure you’re okay to work?”

“I’m _fine_ ,” he answered, maybe just a bit too forcefully. Lily squinted disbelievingly, but shrugged and went back to her own station.

\-----

“You know, you are the only saving grace in this shithole,” Jack said, leaning on the little wall at Lily’s divider.

“Why do you say that?” she asked with a laugh.

“Because you stop me from going crazy from boredom.”

“Well, the feeling’s mutual. I’m glad we can provide each other with some entertainment.” Jack smirked, humming his agreement, and Lily asked hesitantly, “So, will you tell me what happened now? There’s no customers around…”

He grimaced. “Not yet. Do you think we can take our next break together?”

“Uh…” Lily led him to the schedule, peering at it for a minute. “If you’re willing to wait ‘til four. Two more people come in then.”

“That’s fine.”

“Okay.” She squeezed Jack’s arm with a reassuring smile, and then they separated to go back to their own registers.

After that, the store got busy and time passed surprisingly quickly. Before Jack knew it, it was four and Lily was ushering him toward the break room. He followed behind slowly, still unsure if he was really ready to talk about it. When they got there, Lily fell into a chair and gestured for him to sit across from her. “Alright, talk.”

Jack took a deep breath and admitted, “Mark dumped me.”

She blinked in surprise. “Really? …You’re not just messing with me or something, are you?” When he didn’t crack a smile, she sighed and sat back in her seat. “Wow. You aren’t.”

Jack shook his head. “He moved all his stuff the very next day. I think he’s staying with Wade for now.”

“Shit…”

“Yeah…”

“Did he at least say why?”

Jack shrugged. “He didn’t have to. I knew it was coming.”

“Well, fuck him anyway! You deserve better!” Lily leaned across the table, taking his hands in her own. Gentler, she said, “You know I’m here if you need anything, right?”

Jack nodded. Of course he knew; Lily was the only person here he would consider a friend. That didn’t mean he’d take her up on the offer, though. “Thanks.”

“We should go do something this weekend, get your mind off it.” Her face twisted in thought, and a few seconds later she suggested, “Bowling?”

“I’m really sorry, but I can’t. I’m busy this weekend.”

Lily narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “Are you really busy? If you are, that’s fine, but… Are you sure you’re not just going to sit alone and wallow?”

Jack laughed, and it sounded hollow and guilty to his own ears. “Nah, I just have some stuff to work on at home.”

“Alright, well… If you change your mind, just call or text me, okay?”

“Sure.”

“Good.” She checked her watch and sighed. “Looks like our time’s nearly up.”

“Back to the grind,” Jack joked as he stood up. He paused. “But Lily?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for caring.”

“Of course I care, you dork!” She ran over to hug him, but before Jack could even react, she was gone again. Shaking his head with a chuckle, he followed after her.

\-----

When Jack finally got home that night, he kicked his shoes off and fell onto the couch. Staring through the doorway at his computer desk, he groaned. That was the ‘work’ he’d used as an excuse to get out of going with Lily; before Mark had left, he’d been trying to convince Jack to start his own YouTube channel. He’d finally given in, bought the equipment, and set it up a few weeks ago.

Jack hadn’t touched it since, and though he knew that he should give it a shot, he had no intention to any time soon.


	6. Chapter 6

“Hey, I’m gonna meet Bob for lunch. Do you wanna come?”

Mark blinked up at Wade, taking a few seconds for his eyes to adjust from staring at his laptop for so long. “Uh, yeah, sure. Just let me finish editing this video.”

“Aren’t you already like five days ahead?” Wade asked, eyes narrowed.

“Yeah, but…” He trailed off, already distracted as he cut out a few seconds of footage. He paused and shook his head, trying to remember what he was saying. “Oh! Yeah, but it’s going really well. I just wanna finish this one before I run out of steam.”

“Alright. How long do you think it’ll take?”

“Just another minute,” Mark answered. He poked around a bit more and rewatched the final clip. “And… it’s… done! This one is gonna be awesome.”

“I’m glad, but you’ve been stuck in here working forever. Let’s get you out of the house for a while.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” he said with a smirk. Mark shut his laptop off and stood up, stretching. He hesitated, glancing at the pillow that Jack’s hoodie was hiding under, but he only ever wore it to bed, after he was sure Wade and Molly were asleep. Instead, he shrugged on the jacket hanging over the back of the couch. Then he slipped on his shoes and straightened with a flourish. “See? I’m already ready!”

Wade rolled his eyes but said nothing and led the way to the car. The other man was silent as they buckled up and pulled out of the driveway. After a few minutes, Wade glanced at his friend, who was staring absently out the window. “Penny for your thoughts?”

Mark watched the trees blur by for a moment longer before turning to him. He gave a slightly dazed smile, like his mind was somewhere else. “Oh, just thinking about a new sketch I wanna do. Would you be willing to help?”

“Camerawork?” he questioned. “Or do you want me to be in it?”

“Either or,” Mark answered with a shrug. “There are actually a few different ones I’m planning, and I could use someone to help record _or_ act in different ones.”

“Well, sure. I can do either. Just let me know what you need and when, and we’ll figure something out.”

“Thanks.” He flashed a grin, then looked back out the window, already gone again. Wade sighed and switched on the radio.

\-----

“Bob!” Mark exclaimed, pulling him into a hug. “How’ve you been, buddy?”

“I’m doin’ pretty good,” he answered cheerfully. “How about you? It feels like I never see you anymore!”

“I know,” Mark said, rubbing the back of his neck. He nudged Wade with his elbow. “This guy’s been hassling me about getting out of the house, too. I’ve just been really busy lately. I’m doing great, though, thanks.”

“Uh, Bob, can I talk to you for a second?” Wade asked, glancing awkwardly between them and gesturing away with his head. Bob’s brow creased curiously, but he followed.

Mark fell into a booth, rolling his eyes as they spoke in hushed tones. He hadn’t told Bob about the break-up because he didn’t want to see the look of pity in his eyes—the exact look he was wearing as they finished talking and returned, taking their seats. _Why does everyone keep giving me that look? I’m fine. It was_ my _choice, after all._

Luckily, Bob didn’t say a word about it. They looked through their menus silently, only striking up a conversation after their orders were placed. Mark talked and laughed with them, and it felt like something that had been missing for a long time fell back into place. _Maybe I should take Wade’s advice seriously and start coming out more,_ he thought guiltily.

Their food came a while later and they dug in. Wade was telling a story in between bites, but Mark had a million ideas floating through his head and found it hard to pay attention. “—so we tried to put the screen back, but the whole stupid thing fell and somehow landed in the neighbor’s yard. It scared her cat, and—uh… Mark? What are you doing?” he asked, sounding somewhere between confused and amused.

Mark glanced up, smiling sheepishly. “It’s okay, go on. I’m listening, promise. I just got some ideas, and I wanna write them down before I forget.” He turned his focus back to the lists and scribbles on his napkin, but Wade’s story didn’t resume. After a minute of feeling his friends’ stares drilling through his head, he sighed and looked back up again. “What?”

“Well, it’s just… All you do lately is work. I’m starting to think we need to hold an intervention.” They laughed, but he could hear the real concern underlying Wade’s joking tone.

“Alright, alright.” He pushed the napkin aside and raised his hands in surrender. “No more work tonight, okay? No need to overreact.”

They eyed him for another moment, and then Wade nodded in satisfaction. He continued his story, and Mark threw in a nod or laugh or comment at all the right times. He spent the rest of the meal joking around and having fun with his friends, but his hand and mind itched for the pen the entire time.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yesterday I realized that Jack's chapters tend to be quite a bit longer than Mark's. Originally this whole fic was going to be from Jack's perspective, but there were some things I just couldn't show that way. So I decided to try something different, and ended up with this alternating chapters thing. Personally, I like it and it's fun to write that way, but Jack's side does get favored more since it's what I originally planned for. Sorry about that. I really hope you guys are enjoying this, though, and I promise things will start getting a bit less angsty in a few more chapters :)

Jack was running as fast as he could. He didn’t know who was chasing him—it was the middle of the night, and the streetlamps were all out—but he knew it was important that he didn’t let them catch him. It felt like he’d been running for hours, up one road and down another, knocking on doors and yelling for help as he went, but nobody came to his rescue. The lights in every house were out. And just as he could feel his pursuer catching up, just as he spotted a bright, open diner full of people and hope sent his heart racing—

A loud buzzing woke him up, and he blinked wearily. “That was the first time I ever saw an end,” he told his ceiling, surprised. There was another buzz, and Jack jumped. “Shit!” He fumbled for his phone, nearly knocking it off the nightstand. He managed to grab it and unlock the screen, but the buzzing stopped, and he realized that it was just a few texts, not a call. He opened them tiredly, expecting to see Lily checking up on him, or another coworker asking him to cover their shift. Instead, it was from Wade.

_Hey, wanna get some lunch? It’s been awhile._

_…You aren’t still asleep, are you?_

At the accusation, Jack checked the clock on his phone. 11:12. He groaned and flopped onto his back, annoyed with himself for wasting so much time. _Not that I have anything else to do with it._

He stared at the screen for a while. He hadn’t seen Wade since the break-up, but they’d exchanged a few texts and played Overwatch one night. Really, Jack was just glad that he wasn’t being completely ignored by friends that he knew had always been closer to Mark than himself, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to come out of his self-induced isolation and misery yet. _Stop being a little bitch. It’s time to move on._ Steeling himself, he typed out a reply before he could reconsider.

_I’m up. And sure. Is that place we went on my birthday ok with u?_

The response came by the time he was out of bed and pulling on yesterday’s jeans.

_Sounds good. Meet you there._

\-----

When Jack entered the restaurant, it felt like all eyes were on him, though he knew that was ridiculous. _Nobody’s looking at you—and if they are, it’s only because of the hair._ He still felt uncomfortable, though. Crossing his arms, he tried to look around without his eyes actually landing on any one person. He spotted Wade at a table and joined him, sitting down with a relieved sigh.

“You alright?” Wade asked, brow furrowed.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” he answered, waving it off and making a conscious attempt to not look at anyone around them. Instead, he turned his attention to the menu. “Mm, eggs sound delicious.”

“Really? For lunch?” When Jack didn’t answer, he laughed. “You _were_ still asleep, weren’t you?”

“Shut up, you don’t know me!” Jack snapped back, but he didn’t bother to hide his grin.

A waitress came by and they placed their orders, making small talk while they waited for their food. It didn’t take long, and as they started eating, Wade asked sympathetically, “How’s work been?”

Jack snorted and took a bite out of his toast before answering. “Shit, as always. I got a tweaker yesterday insisting that her $50 shoes were supposed to be $5. She started screaming and swearing at me, and I thought she was gonna stab my eyes out with those heels until Ian came and talked her down.”

“Sounds scary.”

“Kinda, but… I’m used to it, y’know?”

Wade nodded. “I think that’s the scariest part about it.”

“True,” he answered with a laugh. “It’s not all bad, though. At least my coworkers aren’t assholes. I’ve got Lily, and she’s pretty damn awesome.”

“Oh?”

Wade’s eyebrows raised, and though he was too polite to ask, Jack saw the question coming from a mile away. He shook his head, chuckling. “Nah, it’s nothin’ like that. She’s just… a friend. A good one. And she’s been helping me with—” He cut himself off, shrugging awkwardly. “With stuff.”

“Ah.” The other man sobered, and they ate in silence for a moment.

Jack couldn’t help but feel guilty about suddenly bringing down the mood. He hadn’t meant to bring up the topic, but now that it was already out there… “Uh, speaking of… Is… Is Mark doing okay?” he asked hesitantly, staring down at his plate as he pushed his food around.

Wade paused, wondering if it was okay to give away information about one friend to ease another’s mind, but he eventually gave in. “If by ‘okay’ you mean ‘alive and healthy,’ then yeah. We’re taking care of him. Otherwise…” He sighed. “I really can’t tell. He doesn’t talk much—mostly just works and keeps himself busy,” he finished honestly.

“Oh. Okay.” Jack nodded, swallowing around the lump in his throat. Then he smiled and pushed his plate away. “You know, I think I’m full. Wanna go somewhere else?”

The other man glanced to Jack’s barely-touched food with a frown, but nodded. “Alright. Where to?”

He hummed in thought as they waved their waitress over and got their checks. “We could go check out what movies are playing,” he suggested, placing the money on the table.

“’Kay.”

“So, can’t believe I didn’t ask earlier, but what’s new with you?” Jack asked, shoving his hands in his pockets as they left the restaurant.

“Well, um…” Wade bit his lip, trying to hide his nervous grin. “I think I’m gonna propose to Molly.”

“That’s great, Wade,” he said with a small but genuine smile. “I’m really happy for you. Do you have the ring yet?”

“No, not yet. I just recently decided to go for it.” What he didn’t say was that seeing Jack and Mark so miserable had finally made up his mind. _Don’t let go of someone you really love._

“Ah. Well, I know she’ll say yes, but good luck all the same.”

“Thanks.”

They walked in silence for a few minutes. Then Wade suddenly stopped, catching Jack off guard. He turned to find his friend folding up a pamphlet from a house that was for sale. “Oh,” Jack said quietly, smiling even as he felt his stomach drop.

Wade put the paper in his pocket, grimacing sympathetically. “Sorry.”

Jack waved off the apology and started walking again. “It’s okay. I knew he’d be looking for a new place eventually.”

“Jack, you know… I’m Mark’s friend, but I’m yours too, and if I can help, then I want to. You don’t have to act like you’re okay all the time.”

The green-haired man laughed bitterly. “Oh, but I do, Wade. Because if I don’t, then I might fall apart completely, and I can’t afford that.”

Wade frowned and stopped Jack with a hand on his shoulder. He looked him over for a moment before pulling him into a bear hug. Jack buried his face in his shirt and clung back for a few seconds, surprised to feel tears well up in his eyes. Then he hurriedly pushed away, wiping them away with his sleeves before they could fall. “Thank you,” he said quietly. Wade nodded his acknowledgement, and they continued on as though nothing had happened.


	8. Chapter 8

“Welcome back,” Mark said distractedly, not looking up from his phone.

“Thanks,” Wade said. He watched his friend for a minute, then tossed the informational sheet on his lap. “I found another house for sale.”

He bit his lip, setting his phone on the table and staring at the piece of paper. “Look, Wade… I’m really sorry. I know I’ve overstayed my welcome, and--”

“No you haven’t, Mark. You’re welcome here for as long as you need; I told you that from day one. I’m just starting to wonder if you’re actually avoiding this on purpose. It’s been three weeks and you haven’t gone to a single open house.”

Mark crossed his arms, looking down at his feet. “Look, I—I’ll start trying, okay?” He dug through the pile on the coffee table and waved a paper in the air. “This one has an open house tomorrow, right? I’ll go to it.”

“Is that what you really want?” Wade asked, unconvinced.

“I—I don’t know. I guess some part of me still expects to go back. But that’s not happening,” he added firmly. “So I’ll start making a real effort to find a new place.”

“Okay,” Wade said with a sigh. He opened his mouth to say more, but shut it with a snap. _Whatever I say, he won’t listen_. He shook his head and left the room, wishing he could help his friends but completely lost about how to do so.


	9. Chapter 9

“Hey Jack,” Lily said, leaning against the counter. “Time for lunch. Wanna go out today?”

“Sure,” he answered with a smile. When he’d hung out with Wade the week before, he’d realized that shutting himself up alone in the apartment was only making things worse. Since then, he’d let Lily drag him out a few times for lunch, and even bowling once to make up for turning her down before.

“Awesome. You clock out and stuff; I’ll be right back.” She disappeared, and met him at the exit a minute later, purse slung over her shoulder. Pushing the doors open, she asked, “Alright, where to today?”

“I think I’m in the mood for pizza today,” Jack said, and Lily laughed; he was in the mood for pizza _every_ day. “Let’s t—” He cut himself off, staring across the street. Mark and Bob were standing outside the bank, deep in conversation, Mark grinning and gesticulating wildly. Even after a month, Jack could still recognize that smile, those hands, that body, that hair, anywhere. He would still recognize them even if they spent years apart. It froze him to the spot, and for a few seconds he forgot how to breathe.

“Jack?” Lily questioned. “Are you o—Oh.”

He swallowed thickly and turned to face her. “Would it be okay with you if we just ate in the break room today?”

“Yeah, of course,” she said, squeezing his arm reassuringly.

She led him back inside, and he followed, feeling completely lost. He hated that Mark could still have such a hold on him without even trying.

Lily sat him down at the table and dug out a sub sandwich from the fridge. She cut off a piece for each of them and placed Jack’s in front of him. When he just stared at it, spacing out, she asked, “Are you okay?”

“I—I don’t know.”

“Really?”

Jack shook his head. “No, not really.”

“Are you okay?” she repeated, softer this time.

“No,” he said, and then he hiccupped and suddenly it was like the flood gates he’d tried so hard to keep closed had opened all at once. He started crying, curling in on himself, and clutched at his chest. “How can it still hurt so fucking much?”

“Oh, Jack, baby…” Lily said sadly, standing to move to the other side of the table. She leaned down to hug him, running a hand through his hair and whispering soothing words into his ear. “It’s okay, baby. You’ll be okay. I know it hurts, but I promise you will.”

“I wanna be okay _now_ ,” Jack whined, clinging back. He felt pathetic, but it was the first time he’d _really_ opened up to anyone since the break-up, and now he couldn’t seem to stop. “I’m tired of being heartbroken. I’m tired of going home to an empty apartment. I’m tired of not being okay. I just want it to be over _now_.”

“I know. I’m sorry baby, I wish I could make you feel better now. You’re too good of a person to be in this much pain,” she said quietly, and then she was crying, too. Lily cradled his head to her chest and bit her lip, determined not to let Jack see or hear her tears. It would only make him feel worse. She took a deep breath to steady her voice and suggested, “I know you haven’t really wanted to talk about it, but maybe it would help? You never talked about Mark much even while you were together…”

Jack hesitated, squeezing her tighter for a moment. Then he nodded slightly. “Maybe,” he agreed. _After all, I doubt it could make things any worse right now._

“Okay. Good, that’s good. Just, um… Let me run to the restroom real fast first, okay?” She made her escape before he could reply. When Lily reappeared a few minutes later, she was perfectly composed, although her makeup had disappeared and her eyes were a bit puffy. She moved her plate and sat down next to Jack, though neither of them had any appetite left. His hand was clenched into a fist on his thigh, and she uncurled his fingers gently, squeezing and waiting patiently until he was ready to talk.

Jack clasped her hand back and stared at the opposite wall. He’d managed to stop crying while she was gone, too, but was afraid that it would start again if he looked at her. He didn’t want to know what kind of expression she was wearing. He inhaled deeply and let it out on a sigh. “Okay,” he said, nodding to himself and preparing to talk. Then he went silent again and, after a few minutes, admitted quietly, “I don’t even know where to start.”

“Was he the first person you were ever with?” she prompted.

Jack shook his head. “No, but he was the first man I dated. And… more importantly, he was the first and only person I’ve ever been in love with.”

Lily swallowed thickly. “I can see why it hit you so hard, then.”

“Have you ever been in love?”

She nodded. “Twice. But I can tell you about that later if you’re curious. This is about you and Mark right now.”

He sighed again. “I know. It’s just… It’s kind of hard to talk about.”

“Do you want me to just keep asking questions, and you can answer them? Would that be easier?”

“Yeah… Yeah, maybe.”

“How long were you together?”

“It would have been three years… tomorrow,” he realized, and it knocked the breath out of him. It felt like he was being gutted all over again. “Fucking hell...”

Lily rubbed his arm, brows creased sadly. “I’m sorry,” she said, wishing she could say more, wishing there were some magic words that would make everything better.

“It’s okay,” Jack said automatically. She didn’t bother to call him out on the lie; he already knew how obvious it was.

“So, that long and… And he didn’t even bother to tell you why?”

He shook his head. “Like I said before, he didn’t have to. We both knew it was coming. We didn’t have any time for each other anymore, and we kept getting in stupid, pointless fights. They weren’t even the kind of fights where you scream your lungs out at each other and then eventually make up. Just dumb, barbed comments and cold shoulders and going to bed alone.” Jack gave a bitter laugh, but it hitched at the end like a sob.

He stared down at the table for a minute, not talking. As Lily opened her mouth to ask another question, though, he picked it back up on his own. “It wasn’t always like that, though. Obviously. We were fucking inseparable when we first got together. Hell, even before that,” Jack added with a chuckle. It sounded sincerer this time, if still a bit watery. “We met when I moved to America for college and became fast friends. We spent nearly every night at each other’s dorms, either studying together or playing video games. You know, for our first anniversary, we went to Disneyland, of all places. Mark surprised me with tickets, and I was so stupidly excited because I’d never gone. We stayed all day and rode every ride we could get through the line for. I ended up coming home with a sunburn and Mickey Mouse ears and full storage on my camera.”

He was jumping around a lot, but Lily just listened intently and let him ramble. “We moved in together a while after that. It’s a shitty apartment, but only because I insisted on paying half the rent. He could afford better, but I didn’t wanna be dead weight. Mark understood, and he never complained or talked about wanting a better place. I bet he’s found one now, though. I… God, I miss him so much,” Jack finished, suddenly deflating. “I still love him and miss him so much. I just want him back. What the hell happened to us?”

Lily leaned to hug him again, rubbing his back gently. “Did you talk to him about it at all?”

Jack shook his head. “His mind was made up.”

“Well, maybe it’s time to try.”

“I can’t. I’m… I’m so scared,” he admitted. “He doesn’t want me anymore, and I don’t think I can handle hearing that again.”

“Then… Maybe it’s time to move on.” Jack opened his mouth to protest, and she shook her head. “I don’t mean that you have to find someone new. You’re obviously not ready for that anyways. But maybe it’s time to put your focus on something else for a while, and do something for yourself.” His brows furrowed, and Lily patted his shoulder. “Just think about it.”

Jack still looked confused, but he nodded. “I will. Think about it, I mean.”

“Good. Now, I really don’t want to leave you alone right now, but we’re late. I’ll tell the manager you got sick and I had to send you home. No arguing. I’m sure you want to, but I can see that you’re fucking exhausted now. Go home and get some rest.”

Jack sighed but nodded. “Alright. Thanks, Lily.”

“No problem. I don’t work tomorrow, so just let me know if you need me to cover your shift.”

“I won’t,” he said confidently, making her laugh.

“Alright.” They stood up and Lily hugged him one last time, whispering, “I can’t wait to see you happy again. You light this whole place up, and you deserve all the happiness in the fucking world.”

He didn’t reply, just held her tightly for a minute before pulling away. “I’ll see you in a few days.”

“Okay. Bye, Jack.”

“Bye.”

They left the room together, and Jack clutched his stomach a bit dramatically as he left the store. He considered her words the whole walk home, and when he walked through the front door and saw all of the recording equipment, he knew exactly what he needed to do.

Right after a nap. Because sometimes he thought Lily was actually psychic, and he didn’t want her yelling at him for not resting.


	10. Chapter 10

“Thank you, everybody, so much for watching, and as always I will see _you_ in the next video. Buh-bye!”

As Mark shut off his equipment and double-checked that everything had recorded properly, he heard a faint voice from the bedroom. Since Molly wasn’t home, he considered teasing Wade for talking to himself. He started creeping down the hallway, but paused as the sound got clearer. _That’s not Wade’s voice. It’s… Jack’s? He must have speakerphone on._ Mark tapped a pattern on his leg as he thought, then decided that he didn’t want to hear his ex’s voice any more than he already had. He turned and took a step back towards the living room, but a squeaky floorboard betrayed him.

“Mark?” Wade called curiously. “Please tell me that’s you. The last thing we need in this house is a ghost.”

“Yeah, it’s me,” he said, peeking around the door frame with a plastic smile. To his surprise, Wade was on his computer, not his phone. _Skype, maybe?_

His friend seemed to notice his confusion, because he gestured him into the room. Mark obeyed, perching on the end of the bed. There were a few seconds of silence while Wade considered what to say, or whether to say anything at all. Mark could see the screen clearly now though and already understood what was going on. “Jack started a YouTube channel,” Wade told him needlessly.

“I… see that.” He laughed. “Of course he decided to try it now. I spent forever trying to convince him.”

Wade shrugged helplessly, trying to ignore the suddenly tense atmosphere. “Well, I think it’s a good idea. He’s only got a few videos up so far, but they’re really funny, and the few people who have found him seem really happy.”

“I’m sure. He’s got a great sense of humor.” Though the compliment was genuine, there was something hidden in his tone—sadness or resignation, or maybe just nostalgia. Wade tried to pick apart the nuances but couldn’t.

“Well, I’m happy for him.”

They fell into silence again, both staring at the screen for a few minutes. Finally, Mark slapped his legs and stood up, grinning. “Well, I’m gonna go fill out another housing application. You enjoy… that,” he said, gesturing vaguely towards the computer. He left before the other man could answer, falling into his usual spot on the couch. He tried to take stock of what he was feeling—upset, in a dull, mostly-numbed way. But his heart was racing too, and it wasn’t from anger. Unable (or unwilling) to parse through it, Mark turned his attention to the growing stack of papers on the coffee table. He sped through three applications before he let himself think, and by then he was blissfully focused again.


	11. Chapter 11

“You’re changing.”

“What do you mean?” Jack asked nervously.

“Don’t worry, it’s not bad,” Lily said. She was watching him pensively, head propped in her hand. “You just seem… happier in the last few days, I guess. And more… independent? I don’t know; that’s not quite the right word for it.”

“Oh.” Her sudden comment was a bit surprising, but when he really thought about it… “Yeah, I am. I took your advice and found something for myself. Something that, as it turns out, I really love.”

“And what’s that?” she asked, smile creeping across her face.

“Um, well…” Jack blushed. “I haven’t really told anyone about this.”

“Oh come on, you can trust me,” Lily prodded. After a moment, she corrected, “Unless you got into porn or something. In which case, good for you, but I don’t really wanna know about it.”

He laughed. “No, but it is video…” He trailed off, letting her solve it for herself.

Lily’s brows furrowed as she considered his hint, nails tapping on the table. Then she sat up straighter, eyes brightening. “No way! You finally did it?” Jack nodded, a grin splitting his face in response to her excitement. “Write down your channel name for me right now!”

“Er… I should warn you, it’s pretty stupid. It’s just me screaming at video games.”

“Just do it,” she said, rolling her eyes and digging a post-it note and a pen out of her purse. He sighed but obeyed her instruction. “How many videos do you have up?”

“Uh, two a day so… Ten now.”

“Well, I’m going to go home tonight and binge-watch all of them,” Lily replied, a touch of pride coloring her voice. “This is awesome, and it seems like you’re really having fun with it. I’m happy for you.”

“Aw, you’re making me blush,” Jack joked. “But seriously, thank you.”

\-----

Jack loved doing YouTube. It kept him busy and productive. It gave him an excuse to play way too many video games without feeling guilty about all the wasted time. He got to work with audio and video, practicing editing and figuring out the best setup for what he had. He only had a few subscribers, but they were incredibly nice and he loved chatting with them.

The only thing he didn’t like was when a few commenters apparently recognized him.

_Hey, isn’t this Markiplier’s bf?_

_that's what i thought too. glad i wasn’t just imagining it._

_Its definitely him. Just look at Mark’s 24th Happy Wheels video. Its impossible to miss that accent and hair._

_Aww that’s awesome! Maybe they’ll start doing cute couple-y vids soon, too!_

Jack sighed, scrolling through the comments. _How did they even find me?_ he asked himself, wondering what to do about them. He couldn’t just block them; they weren’t being malicious, and it would look incredibly suspicious if he did. But he couldn’t reply and tell them that he wasn’t with Mark anymore, either; it wasn’t _only_ his news to tell. In the end, he closed out of the window, opting to ignore it.

Better to risk seeming rude than attempt to get into that mess with a bunch of strangers, especially since he still hadn’t really sorted through it for himself.


	12. Chapter 12

_I nearly pissed myself laughing from this video, it was hilarious. Oh and btw, congrats on finally getting Jack to start a channel!_

_Yeah I saw that too! You guys should make a collab soon!_

_I didn’t know u were dating anyone! I’m pretty new, tho. Guess u haven’t talked about him in ur newer vids. I’ll have to check out his channel._

The urge to bang his head against a wall was nearly overwhelming. Instead, Mark settled for hitting it on the back of the couch and rubbing his temples. At first, there had only been a few comments about Jack and his new channel, and they had been easy enough to ignore. But those comments had gotten more people interested, which had led to more comments, and in the space of just a few weeks his channel was filled with them.

He’d been fighting it off for a while, but it had finally gotten to the point that he couldn’t ignore his curiosity any longer. Resigning himself to the pain that was sure to follow, he clicked on a link and watched Jack’s first video.

\-----

“They’re really good,” Mark admitted when Wade walked through the door, pausing the twelfth video in a row.

“Huh?” his friend asked, heading into the kitchen to drop the groceries. “Yeah, Mark, thanks for asking. My day was great, how about yours?”

He rolled his eyes. “Hey Wade, how was your day?”

“It was awesome, thanks,” Wade said with a laugh. Leaning against the back of the couch, he asked, “Now what on Earth were you talking about?”

Mark gestured to the screen. “They’re good,” he repeated.

“Oh, uh. Yeah, they are.”

“Everyone’s been asking if we’ll collab.”

“Do you want to?”

Mark gave him a deadpan look. “You know as well as I do that that’s not possible.”

Wade shrugged. “Look, do you miss Jack?” he asked, but his tone said he already knew the answer.

“Of course I do,” he confessed grumpily. “I never claimed not to. But it’s better for both of us if—”

“Is it really? Do you feel any better without him than you did with him only there a few minutes a day?”

“…No,” Mark answered, voice barely loud enough for the other man to hear it.

“I didn’t think so. Maybe it’s time to stop avoiding him and try actually talking for once in your goddamn life!” Mark blinked up at him, and he took a deep breath. Quieter, Wade continued, “Sorry. It’s just… It’s really frustrating, watching you dance around each other like this and act like total idiots.”

“I appreciate your advice,” he said honestly, “But I don’t know if that’s the best idea. Especially since I already closed the deal on that house. I’m moving in like a week!”

“I’m not saying you should dive right back in and move in together again,” Wade said, retreating back to the kitchen. “In fact, that’s probably the last thing you should do. Take things slow, because you two obviously have some issues to work out. But just talk to Jack, for Pete’s sake!”

Mark stared blankly at the opposite wall, turning the idea over and over in his head. After a long while, he admitted, “…Yeah. Yeah, you’re probably right.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to let you all know, there's going to be another delay on the next chapter because... I'm going to PAX! :D  
> We'll be spending most of the day there, not to mention the 2+ hours spent on commuting each day, so I don't know if I'll have any time to write. Plus, if I actually get through the lines tomorrow and get to meet Jack and/or Mark, I'll probably be freaking out too much to focus lol. Hopefully this reunion-of-sorts chapter can tide you over though haha

“Thank you,” Jack said, taking his coffee from the barista. He winked, making her blush.

“You’re welcome,” she replied with a shy smile, not quite meeting his eyes.

He sat down at one of the tables, inhaling the scent of the coffee and feeling himself relax. Coffee was truly the mana of the heavens, and he was a zombie in the mornings without it.

As Jack sipped at his drink, his eyes wandered back to the barista, a girl named Marie. He’d been flirting with her a bit lately, and she definitely _seemed_ interested. She hadn’t done anything about it, though, and he hadn’t pushed. In the back of his head, his conscience took on Lily’s voice and scolded Jack for trying to make a move on someone when he was still so fucked up from his last relationship. That was exactly it, though; he was sick and tired of the heartache. He just wanted to move on, regardless of the fact that he knew it wasn’t really possible yet.

 _Could the timing be any worse?_ Jack thought, gaping as his gaze moved from Marie to her customer. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he muttered under his breath. His heart started racing, and he forced his eyes down to the table with the childish mentality of ‘you can’t see me if I don’t see you.’

As expected, it was useless, and Mark came over as soon as he got his own drink. Jack pretended not to notice the shadow looming over his table, and after a long silence Mark said, “Hi, Jack.”

Reluctantly, he finally looked up, getting his first good look at the other man in what felt like forever. He looked as good as ever, the only real changes being bags under his eyes and slightly scruffier facial hair. Jack swallowed and forced out, “Hi, Mark.”

“I didn’t expect you to be here. I-it’s good to see you though,” Mark said hesitantly. “You look… like you’re doing well.”

 _Guess I must look a helluva lot better than I feel_ , Jack thought bitterly. He sighed and said aloud, “Mark, you don’t have to lie. You knew I’d be here; I come here every morning when I work.”

“It’s not like I still have your schedule memorized!” he answered defensively. There was silence for a moment, and then he shook his head and ran a hand over his face. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m acting like a child about this. Yeah, you’re right. I knew you’d be here. I wanted to see you, to see how you’re doing.”

“I’m getting along alright.” _If by ‘getting along’ you mean ‘surviving’ or ‘going through the motions while feeling like every day is just the same old blur.’_

“Good. That’s good.” Mark’s fingers tapped a quick rhythm against his thigh, and Jack recognized it as one of his nervous habits. “Listen, Jack… I… I’ve had some time and space away to think, and… I miss you.”

“Mark, please don’t.” _Not now. Not when I finally feel like I can breathe again._

“No, no, I just mean… I never wanted us to stop being friends, you know? I was wondering if maybe you wanted to try hanging out again sometime. You’re my best friend, and I miss you.”

Jack’s heart clenched at the wrinkle of Mark’s brow, at the mixture of sincerity and sadness and pleading and hope. _I miss you too. More than I could ever admit._ Against his better judgment, he said, “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Great. Well, I have to get going, but… You know my number, so just give me a call whenever you’re free.” He paused, tapping at his leg again. “Er… You _do_ still have my number, right?”

 _As much as I hate to admit it…_ Jack pulled his phone out of his pocket and held it up. “You’re still saved in my contacts.” Mark’s answering grin was so quick that he had to wonder if he’d imagined it.

“Great,” he repeated. “Well, I’ll talk to you later then. Bye!”

And then he was gone, the bell over the door chiming his exit, and Jack was left to wonder what the fuck he was thinking.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, guys! As expected, though, I was too exhausted to write by the time I got home from PAX each night. It was freaking amazing, though! I got to see both the Markiplier and Friends panel and the Revelmode one, and I got to meet Jack, Pewdie, Ken, Wade, and Molly (and congratulate them on their engagement, which is exciting as all hell)! If you for some reason would like to read my long rambles about all that, you can check out my tumblr posts at beccabear93.tumblr.com/tagged/PAX-West-2016 :)
> 
> Anyways, back to the story! This chapter is pretty dang short, but the next one will be longer again. :)

Mark floofed his hair in the reflection from the television screen, ruffled it until it fell into place, and then floofed it again in dissatisfaction. Appearing in the doorway behind him, Molly asked, “Got a hot date tonight?”

He jumped, spinning to face her. “No!” he said, blushing. She raised an eyebrow at him, then turned her dubious look on the piles of discarded clothes surrounding his boxes. Mark stared down at them and sighed. “It’s really not a date.” He wasn’t sure if it was more to answer her question or just to remind himself.

“But you’re interested in them.” It wasn’t a question.

“It’s Jack. Wade told me to talk to him again, and… I guess I got a little carried away.” He cringed, waiting for the reprimand he knew was coming.

To his surprise, Molly just said, “Good.” She fell onto the couch, eying him silently for a minute. “Good that you contacted him, not that you’re getting ahead of yourself. It’ll take time to build that trust back up. But… You two are good together. You smile more with him,” she said softly.

Mark swallowed and turned away. “I guess I should just pick an outfit and stop freaking out about it, huh?” he asked, kneeling to gather the clothes up again.

Molly stood and walked over to him, looking over the stack. Then she pulled out a pair of nice jeans and a white button-up shirt, handing them to him after he tossed the rest into a box. “He likes the button-ups,” she confided, just a hint of laughter in her voice. “Just make sure you roll the sleeves up to your elbows, too.”

He gaped up at her for a moment, and then they were both laughing. “Thanks, Molly.”

“No problem. Good luck, Mark,” she said, ruffling his hair before turning to leave the room. Mark checked his reflection again, and his groan echoed behind her, making her chuckle deviously.


	15. Chapter 15

Jack paced the floor, stopping by the front door after a few minutes. He unlocked his phone for what was probably the hundredth time. “I should cancel,” he said, staring at his text messages for a moment. Then he shook his head, shoved the phone back in his pocket, and resumed pacing.

Just as he pulled it out again, there was a knock on the door, making him jump. He bit his lip, spun his bracelet around his wrist a few times, and opened it. “Hi,” he said, irritated by his own breathless tone.

“Hi.” At least he wasn’t the only nervous one.

He stepped aside, eyes tracing over Mark’s body as he waved him inside. He was wearing tight jeans and Jack’s favorite shirt. The sleeves were rolled up to the elbows and the top button was undone, revealing more of his throat. Jack swallowed and forced himself to turn away. He sat down and asked, “Ah, so… What’d you wanna do?”

“I thought maybe we could just hang out and play some video games,” Mark said, but it sounded more like a question.

Right. Video games. That was safe. Right? “Sounds good,” Jack replied with a small smile. “Uh, why don’t you choose one? You know where they are…”

“Right.” Mark squatted down in front of the shelf in the corner, pants sliding down a bit and shirt riding up. Jack caught himself staring at the sliver of skin, mentally kicked himself, and looked to the ceiling. The other man held up a case, peering over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow. “Rocket League?”

“Yeah, sure.” Mark popped the game into the system, handed Jack a controller, and sat down at the other end of the couch. Hating the silence as they set up the first round, Jack asked, “So… How’ve things been?”

“Oh, uh, yeah… Pretty good, I guess.”

“Yeah? Wade said you were looking for a new place. Find anything?”

There went his fingers, tap-tap-tapping away at his leg, and Jack cringed. “Yeah, actually, I just got a house... I’m in the middle of moving my stuff over there. It’s—It’s a nice place.”

“That’s… That’s great.”

“Yep.”

Jack held back a sigh as they started playing. _There’s a giant fuckin’ elephant in the room, and we’re both too fucking stubborn to mention it. But why should we? Mark wants to be friends; we can be friends. We’re two fully-grown, mature adults who can totally handle—_

Jack snorted, and Mark looked over, head tilted. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothin’, it’s… Nothin’,” he answered, shaking his head with a rueful smile.

“Oh… okay…” The crease between his brows didn’t disappear, but Jack didn’t offer any more of an explanation.

On-screen, an opposing team member destroyed his car, forcing Jack to focus on the game. It happened again a minute later, and he groaned, “Oh, fuck me in the ass!” Mark made a small, choked-sounding noise, and Jack resisted the urge to facepalm. When they were together, a comment like that wouldn’t have even been noticed. It wouldn’t have been noticed even _before_ they were together. But now, absolutely everything was awkward and fucked up and he hated it.

Mark must have had the same thoughts, because after that, they both made conscious efforts to act as normal as possible. They screamed at each other and at the other team, managed a few wins, and Jack even found himself laughing at Mark’s stupid jokes a few times.

“Your mother is an ugly a—”

Jack slid closer on the couch to smack the other man’s arm. “Excuse _you_ , my mother is a lovely woman!”

“I know she is; I met her! I wasn’t talking to you!” Mark said, laughing.

He stared for a moment, drinking in the sight and sound. _It finally feels like home again with that sound filling the place up._ The thought was enough to make his throat close up. He took a deep breath and turned his gaze back to the television, where his car was facing directly away from the ball and had climbed halfway up the wall. He grunted in annoyance and flipped it back around, just in time to see the other team score the winning goal. “Wanna play something else?”

“Sure. What do you have in mind?” Jack shrugged, and they went back the shelf, scanning over the titles. Mark’s eyes narrowed curiously and he pulled one out. “What’s this?”

“Dunno. I picked it up at an old used games store, but I never actually played it.”

“Wanna try it?”

“Sure.”

“Oh… Damn. It says it’s only for one player.”

“Oh well. We can just take turns,” Jack said, shrugging again. They turned it on and sat back down, and he couldn’t help but notice how much closer they were than before. The small amount of space between them seemed to tingle with static, but he didn’t make any move to either close the gap or widen it.

As they played through the opening scenes, Mark raised an eyebrow. “Are we supposed to like this guy?” he asked. “I mean, you’re usually supposed to like the guy you play as, right? But he’s kind of an asshole.”

Jack nodded in agreement, unsure if he was more annoyed or amused by the main character. After a while longer, though, the scale tipped and he laughed. “Okay, I have to admit it. I like him. He might be an asshole, but at least he’s a funny one.”

Mark chuckled. “True. Oh, here, it’s your turn,” he added, passing the controller.

They played for a long time. Jack was completely engrossed by the strange story, and the many humorous moments were only enhanced by the ridiculous voices that they gave each character. Eventually, though, the day’s tension began to get to him, and he handed the controller over to Mark just a few minutes into his turn.

“Huh? You’ve only been playing for like ten minutes.”

He shrugged and laid down on his side, using the armrest as a pillow. “I’m tired.”

“Oh, uh…” Mark rubbed the back of his neck and gestured toward the door. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No, it’s fine. I just think I’m done playing for the night. I wanna watch you instead.”

He hesitated, but eventually turned back to the screen. “Alright…”

They fell silent, and it shouldn’t have been so comfortable, but it was. The thousands of unspoken words that had been hanging over their heads all day drifted away, and Jack was left feeling content. He blinked slowly, watching the main character navigate the map through bleary eyes. His feet were cold, but if he moved them just a bit… There. Mark jumped slightly as Jack pushed his toes under his thigh, but didn’t comment.

 _This is bad. I shouldn’t let myself get comfortable. If I do, I’ll just get hurt all over again,_ Jack thought, but he was too tired to actually do anything about it. He watched the other man out of the corner of his eye, and Mark was too focused on a battle with some cat-like creature to notice. The way his face crinkled when he was concentrating hadn’t changed at all, and it was still completely adorable. Jack smiled dopily, thinking, _I miss that._

After a while, Mark looked over, blinking in surprise and biting his lip. Jack suddenly realized that at some point, his glance from the corner of his eye had turned into full-blown, completely unsubtle staring. He turned away, but he knew it was already too late. Then Mark’s hand landed on his shin, and he jolted.

“I… I should probably get going,” Mark said, but he sounded regretful.

Jack checked the time on his phone. 1:34AM. Apparently he’d spent much more time staring and nearly dozing off than he thought. “Crap. Y-yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” They stood together, and he hovered awkwardly as Mark pulled on his shoes. He held the door open, and Mark took a step toward him. Then he caught himself and backed up with a cough. Jack felt a rush of disappointment, and that more than anything was what made him practically shove the other man outside. “Right, that was great, we should do it again sometime, bye!” he said, hurriedly shutting the door behind him.

“Er… Right. Bye,” Mark said. He sounded confused, but not particularly upset.

There was the sound of muffled footsteps from the other side, and then he was gone. Jack listened to his own heart for a minute, the only sound in the apartment, and then slid down the door to sit on the floor. He buried his face in his hands.

“…Shit.”


	16. Chapter 16

_Saw this and thought of you._

Mark giggled to himself as he texted Jack the picture of a four-leaf clover he’d just found. It was a joke at the other man’s expense, but it was also true. He _had_ thought of Jack the moment he saw it.

But then, most things reminded him of Jack at this point.

He slipped his phone back in his pocket and plucked the clover, already planning to press it in a book when he got to the house. The vibration against his leg just a moment later surprised him; he sent plenty of dumb things to Jack, but rarely got a reply—not that he blamed him.

_Haha it’s funny cause I’m Irish._

It was amazing how his sarcasm could bleed through so clearly, even in a text.

_Actually, I thought of you because it’s green :P_

He expected Jack to say something along the lines of “I hate you,” but instead, he seemed to ignore the reply and change the subject entirely.

_Wanna come over?_

Mark blinked, wondering if he was imagining the words on his screen. It had been two weeks since the last time he’d gone back, and he’d kind of forced that one. He wasn’t really expecting an invite back any time soon.

_Right now?_

_Sure, or whenever._

_Alright just give me a bit to get ready._

He waited a few minutes longer, but Jack didn’t say anything else. Luckily, Mark had been on his way back. He rushed the rest of the way to the house to shower and tame his hair, already feeling the beginning of knots in his stomach.

\-----

They played some games, and Jack let Mark cook dinner, and it felt like Before—long Before. _How the fuck is it that we can find hours to spend together now, but couldn’t when we were actually living under the same roof?_ He stirred the soup in the pot, staring as if it held all the answers. Mark sighed and let himself space out until he finished cooking and poured the soup into separate bowls.

“Hey ba—” He bit his tongue on the pet name, cleared his throat, and tried again. “Jack, what do you want to drink?”

“Uh, just water. Thanks,” he called, thankfully distracted by his phone.

Mark nodded to himself and filled up two glasses with water. The dishes were still in the same places as always. _Everything_ was still in its place, except for him. He tried to shove the depressing thought out of his head and forced a smile, carrying out their trays and taking his seat.

“Thanks. It looks great.” He watched as Jack took his first bite, eyes closed and a tiny smile appearing on his face, and his heart skipped a beat.

“Yeah, no problem. I keep catching myself cooking for two.” Jack stared at him, seemingly lost for words, and Mark chuckled awkwardly. He’d even surprised _himself_ by admitting that.

“Uh, so… Wanna watch a movie while we eat?” Jack asked, holding up a superhero flick. “I rented it, and I was gonna watch it yesterday, but then I thought it was probably one you wanted to see too—”

“Yeah, that’d be great,” Mark cut him off. “I can’t remember the last time I saw a movie. It feels like I never have time for anything but work anymore.”

“Yeah, I know,” he said as he set it up. Mark flinched at the small jab but did his best to ignore it.

They watched in silence, aside from some laughter and Jack’s occasional hollers at particularly badass moments. They finished eating and stacked the trays and bowls on the coffee table to deal with later, settling back more comfortably on the couch. About halfway through the movie, Jack got quieter. Mark turned curiously, only to find his head nodding. Just like the last time, he was clearly struggling to stay awake, and it made Mark wonder how much sleep he was actually getting. It obviously wasn’t a healthy amount, at least.

When Jack inevitably lost the fight against his own body and dozed off, he fell against Mark’s shoulder. Every alarm in Mark’s head went off, begging him to lay Jack down properly instead and run as fast as possible in the opposite direction. Instead, he settled in more, shifted to a position that would be slightly more comfortable for both of them, and did his best to relax.

_Just let him sleep for once._


	17. Chapter 17

Jack woke up slowly, the feeling of someone stroking his hair threatening to send him straight back to sleep. When he realized who that person was, he tensed, debating whether he should make his escape, act like everything was perfectly normal, or pretend to still be asleep.

“Good morning,” Mark said, making him jump. He didn’t stop carding through his hair, and Jack gave in and settled against him.

“Is it actually morning?” he asked, dreading the answer.

“Nah. You were only out for a few hours.”

“You could’ve woken me up, you know.”

“You looked like you needed it.” His hand paused, and Jack looked up to find him biting his lip. “When was the last time you got a full night’s sleep?”

He snorted. “I don’t know… A year ago? I don’t need much.”

“You need more than you’ve been getting, though,” Mark said firmly.

Jack sat up to see him more easily, but he didn’t move away. “Yeah, well… I’m busy, and sleep doesn’t exactly come easily even when I have time for it.” His tone made it painfully obvious who was to blame, and Mark cringed.

“I’m sorry,” he said, placing his hand over Jack’s on the couch.

“I know you are.” His fingers twitched, but he didn’t pull away. “That doesn’t change what happened, though.”

“I wish I could take it back. I never meant to hurt you.”

Mark moved his other hand to cup Jack’s cheek, and he leaned into it, closing his eyes. _What_ did _you mean to do, then?_ The words wouldn’t come out. When Mark pulled him into a tight hug, he wanted to fight it. Instead, he clung back even tighter. When Mark kissed him, he kissed back, wondering whose heart he could feel beating so hard against his chest.

Jack moved his hands to Mark’s hair and tugged just the slightest bit, just to hear his breath hitch as they broke apart. Mark slid his lips down Jack’s jaw and neck, pressing light kisses here and there and breathing heavily. Jack tilted his head to give him easier access, and tried to pretend that he wasn’t already completely lost.

Mark started sucking hickeys into his skin and Jack mentally cursed him, knowing how difficult they would be to cover up. After a while, he got impatient and dragged him back up for another kiss. He leaned back, and Mark followed. They stayed like that for a long time, laying together and making out like teenagers without going anywhere with it. Eventually, though, Mark slid a leg between his and Jack gasped, breaking the kiss. As hands slipped under his shirt and trailed up and down his sides languidly, he looked into Mark’s eyes and suddenly realized that even before their break-up, it had been months since they’d made love. There had been a few fast and rough quickies when they actually got a few minutes together and weren’t completely exhausted, sure, but they hadn’t had _this_ in far too long. The realization sparked an ache in Jack’s chest and he swallowed before suggesting quietly, “Why don’t we move this to the bedroom?”

Mark’s eyes brightened and he nodded. He carefully stood up and offered his hand. Jack accepted, and Mark pulled him up and led the way to the bedroom. They stopped once to make out against the wall for a few minutes, nothing but kisses and light touches. The feeling that Jack’s heart was being squeezed only grew stronger, and his unsteady legs were thankful when he finally hit the bed, pulling Mark down after him.

They laid on their sides for a while, mouths moving together slowly, until finally Mark rolled over him and pressed their foreheads together. “I don’t wanna rush through this,” he said, seeming to search his eyes. For what, Jack didn’t know.

“Me neither,” he whispered, shaking his head.

Mark lowered himself, their bodies slotting together perfectly, and kissed Jack again, biting his bottom lip and tugging lightly. “I’ve missed you so fucking much,” he confessed quietly.

“I missed you too. I still love you,” Jack admitted. He hadn’t meant to say it, but it was out now and it felt like a dam had burst.

“I love you too,” Mark said. His expression suddenly looked pained, but he smiled past it. He slowly pushed Jack’s shirt up, giving him plenty of time to stop him. When he made no move to do so, Mark continued, whispering in his ear. His low voice caught somewhere between tender and downright filthy and sent shivers down Jack’s spine. “And I’m going to take my time and fucking _worship_ every single inch of you like you deserve.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who hasn't read my last fic and didn't see the notes there--no, there will not be smut. This is as close as it will get. I don't feel comfortable writing smut about Mark and Jack because they don't feel comfortable with it existing. That's all, and it won't be changed if you try to nag or beg. Sorry.


	18. Chapter 18

_You were a fucking idiot to let him go,_ Mark thought, admiring Jack’s profile in the morning sunlight shining through the cracks in the blinds. His face was slack, and his bare shoulders peeked out above the covers. Mark resisted the urge to kiss them, wanting to let Jack get as much sleep as possible. _When he wakes up… Apologize. Tell him you want him back. Do_ something. _Don’t lose him again._

He let himself stare for a minute longer, then got up with new resolve. Mark dressed and moved to the kitchen, starting a pot of coffee before gathering ingredients. He hummed tunelessly while he cooked, well aware of the stupid grin on his face. He couldn’t control it, but then, he didn’t really want to.

“Okay,” he muttered, psyching himself up. “You’re gonna go in there, wake him up with breakfast and a kiss, and give him enough time to be unzombiefied. Then you’re gonna tell him you were an idiot and an asshole, and accept whatever punishment you get for that. Tell him you love him, fix everything, and don’t ever fuck up so badly again.”

In theory, it seemed so easy. In reality, the whole thing was exhilarating and terrifying. He hadn’t even realized how much he missed Jack until he had him back in his life. The idea of admitting he was wrong sucked, but the idea of being separated again was so much worse.

When he finished cooking, Mark loaded a plate with food and set it on a tray next to a mug of coffee (black with two sugars, still ingrained so easily in his memory). Just as he was about to take the tray to Jack, he paused. _Wade’s been pestering me from the day I left. He’d want to hear the good news, right?_

He searched for his cell phone, eventually finding it halfway under the couch, and shot off a simple text.

_You were right. I was stupid, but I think we’re on the path to fixing everything now. :)_


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first of several chapters vaguely inspired by "My Life Would Suck Without You" by Kelly Clarkson.

When Jack woke up, there was no arm around his waist, no heat from the other side of the bed. It was almost enough to convince him that the previous night had all been a dream. A very long, very vivid dream.

Almost.

His pleasantly sore body and the clanging from the kitchen told a different story, though—one that he didn’t want to admit to. “You’re weak,” Jack told himself, squeezing his eyes shut as tightly as possible. “You have to end this now, before you get any deeper than you already are.”

The noises in the kitchen stopped and he tensed, listening closely. A few seconds later, there were feet padding down the hall and stopping in the doorway behind him. Jack’s chest tightened as he considered what he had to do, and he forced his face and his body to relax. Maybe if he pretended to still be asleep, he could put it off for just a bit longer. Maybe he could stay in this dream world for just a few extra minutes.

Mark immediately ruined that idea, though, crawling onto the bed behind him and shaking his shoulder. “Wake up, Jack,” he said, the smile clear in his voice.

Jack yawned and stretched, wondering whether his acting was any good. Mark seemed convinced at least. “I made you breakfast in bed,” he said, pulling a tray off the nightstand and handing it over.

He stared down at the feast—waffles, fruit, bacon, eggs, sausage—he hadn’t even known there was that much food in the house. His stomach dropped, and he set it aside. “Um… Maybe we should… talk, first.”

“Alright,” Mark said, settling back to sit on his heels. He looked a bit apprehensive, but was still smiling. “What’s up?”

“Mark, last night, that… It was a mistake,” Jack said, though it made him feel sick to do so. Better to just get straight to the point.

“What?” Mark reared back, looking like Jack had just slapped him in the face. “But—I thought—you said—”

“And I do,” Jack replied, cutting him off. He knew exactly what he’d said, but though it was true, he didn’t want to be reminded of it. “But… We both know this was wrong. I can’t just fall back into this… I can’t let myself get hurt like that again,” he admitted, face scrunched in distress.

“I told you, I’m sorry you got hurt. I never meant for that to happen!” He was starting to look panicked.

“Then what _did_ you want to happen?” _And why couldn’t I just ask that last night before we made this so much harder?_

“I don’t know! I just—”

“Did you really think anything good would come of it? Maybe for you, Mark, but not for me! I don’t have millions of people falling at my feet! It would be easy for you to move on, but…” Jack trailed off, clenching the sheets in his fists and wishing he was dressed for this conversation. He felt exposed enough without being literally naked.

“What the hell are you talking about, Jack? You think it’s that fucking easy?” Mark asked, voice lowered in anger and disbelief.

“Yes, I do!” His voice pitched up, and he swallowed, taking a moment to calm himself. “You dumped me like we didn’t have five fucking years of history, three of which were _together_ , so obviously it wasn’t _that_ hard! But for me… You’re it, Mark.” Jack’s voice cracked again, and he tried to blink back the sudden tears that threatened to fall, not even sure if they were from sadness or anger.

“Then why are you pushing me away?” Mark asked, running a hand through his hair. “I’m still fucking in love with you, and you say you love me too, but you’re just shoving me away! If you can’t move on, then _don’t_!”

“I told you, I can’t risk getting hurt again. I was just starting to relearn how to live on my own again, and then you barged back into my life and broke it all down. If you could dump me so easily the first time, then you could do it again, and I don’t think I could handle that.”

“You didn’t exactly seem upset about it! _You_ didn’t fight for us either, you know,” Mark muttered bitterly.

“Maybe not, but I didn’t _choose_ to leave, either.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and groaned. “And _of course_ I tried not to let you see that I was upset. _Of course_ I tried to act strong. But I’ve been walking around like a fucking zombie with my broken heart ever since you left.”

Mark took a few long breaths and, voice steady, said, “I’m sorry. Please just let me try again. Let me make it up to you.”

Jack looked away, unable to meet his eyes. “’m sorry, Mark, but I don’t think I can right now.”

“…Right now?” he repeated hopefully.

“I don’t know! I can’t think about this! Don’t you think you’ve fucked with my head enough for now?” Mark bit his lip but said nothing, and Jack sighed. “I think you should go now. Just… let me figure shit out for a while, okay?”

Mark opened his mouth to argue, but nothing came out. He stared at the fists clenched in his lap for a few seconds, then stood up without a word. The only sound was the front door closing a minute later.

Jack took a long, shaky breath, and wiped his eyes. He looked at the tray still sitting on his bed, but the sight made him nauseous. He let himself stew for a few more minutes, then got up, put on his comfiest clothes, and texted Lily.

_Can you come over? I think I really fucked up this time._


	20. Chapter 20

“Hey buddy, congratu—” Wade trailed off, brows furrowing. “This… isn’t a time for congratulations, is it?”

Mark raised an eyebrow as if to say ‘you think?’ Gesturing to the door, he asked, “Can I come in?”

“Oh, yeah, right, of course!” Wade moved aside, and Mark followed him in. He stood in the center of the living room, staring blankly, until Wade gently pushed him down into a chair. “What the heck happened?”

“I…I don’t know,” he answered, looking up at his friend with wide eyes. “We… slept together. And then I woke him up with breakfast, and I was gonna say… But he said it shouldn’t have happened, and then he got pissed, and we argued, and now… I’m here. How did this turn into us fighting again?” Mark wondered aloud.

“I don’t know, but… You have to fix this, Mark. I know you’ve been trying to keep busy and avoid thinking about it, but it’s obvious that you’re miserable without him.”

“I don’t think I _can_ fix it. Jack hates me. He never wants to see my face again.”

“Did he actually _say_ that?” Wade asked skeptically.

“No…” Mark admitted, slouching in his chair with a pout.

“Then you’ve still got a chance. _Take it_ ,” he insisted.

“I know. You’re right. _Again_ ,” Mark sighed. “Not yet, though. He needs some time to cool off first. Besides, I never expected to have a scream-out this early in the morning and I’m completely exhausted.”

“You wanna pass out here?” Wade offered, but Mark shook his head.

“Nah, I’ll head back to my place. I’m honestly not sure why my first thought was to come here anyways.”

“Because you needed moral support. And maybe somebody to talk some sense into you?”

“Maybe,” Mark agreed, finally cracking a smile. “Thanks, Wade.”

“No problem,” he said as they stood back up and headed for the door. “Good luck! Let me know how it goes.”

Mark saluted lazily. “Will do.”

\-----

Mark managed to sleep for a few hours, but when he woke up, the empty half of the bed taunted him. He sneered at it before getting up. After a few minutes of mindless pacing around the house, he fell into a chair in the dining room.

“Okay. Time to come up with a plan.”

Half an hour later, he had a mental list made up. Most of it would have to wait, but there was one thing he could start immediately. Mark moved into the office to record a video. He decided to wait a few days before uploading it, when Jack might be more inclined to actually watch it. At least it was a distraction for now, though: something to focus on other than his own nerves and self-pity. He double-checked that everything was running properly, took a deep breath, and looked straight into the camera.

“Hello, everybody! My name is Markiplier! I usually try to avoid talking about my personal life in these videos, but this is going to be the exception. I made a big mistake, and now I need to fix it.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has read this, especially if you left a kudos or comment or liked it enough to bookmark it. I'm really sorry if I don't reply to every single comment. It's only because I either have nothing to say without giving spoilers, or because I feel like I'm repeating myself because all I can really say is this: _Thank you._

“What happened?” Lily asked worriedly as soon as Jack answered the door. She took one look at his expression and her own hardened. “This is about Mark, isn’t it?”

Jack nodded miserably, and she pushed past him into the apartment, fists raised. “Where is he? I _will_ fight him for you,” she insisted, looking around as though she’d find him lurking in one of the corners.

He laughed weakly. “He’s already gone. And it’s my fault this time. Well, mostly, anyways.”

He fell into a chair and Lily sat on the arm, taking his hand. “What happened?”

“Well, the first fuck-up is that we had sex. I guess that one’s on both of us,” Jack answered, laughing humorlessly. “And the second is that I told him it was a mistake and kicked him out, and I instantly regretted it.”

“ _Why?_ ” she asked disbelievingly.

“Which part?”

“All of it! Jack, you were doing so well, finally pulling yourself back together—”

“Hence why I told him we shouldn’t have done it.”

“—but it’s so obvious how much you missed him, so I can understand why you would give in,” Lily continued as if she hadn’t been interrupted. “But you know how unhappy you are without him, so why would you push him away again?”

“Because I’m even more unhappy _with_ him!”

Lily pursed her lips, eyes narrowing. “Jack, as your friend, I really want to be on your side here… But I am sorely tempted to slap you if you try to lie to me like that.”

“…Sorry.”

“So what’s the real reason?”

“…Because if we were together, I would spend every day wondering when he would just get up and leave again. Because he already broke my heart once, and I think a second time might actually kill me.”

Her face softened, and she leaned to hug him. “Oh, baby… I know you’re scared, but you can’t think like that. Wouldn’t you rather be happy and risk getting hurt someday, than not take the risk and never be better than ‘okay?’”

“No,” Jack answered honestly, pouting. The childishness of the answered startled a laugh out of Lily, which made him laugh a bit as well.

“You know what you have to do.”

“I don’t want to,” he argued, shoulders hunched.

Lily rubbed the bridge of her nose, eyes closing. Then she opened them again, sighed, and gave in. “Fine. But he’ll come back, and you’re going to give him another chance when he does.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because you’re not stupid enough to make the same mistake twice.”

“No, I meant… How do you know that Mark will come back?”

“Because _he_ reached out to you, _he_ made the first move, _he_ isn’t the one that rejected _you_ this time… And I don’t think he’s stupid enough to make the same mistake twice, either.”

Jack bit his lip, but after a minute, he nodded. “Thanks, Lily.”

“No problem.” She hugged him again, rubbing his back, and then smacked it. “Now go take a shower, and we’ll go out and do something. We can come up with a real plan, or pretend that nothing’s wrong and just have fun, or you can just ramble at me about how in love with Mark you still are. I’m a pretty good listener, you know,” she said with a smirk.

He rolled his eyes but couldn’t quite restrain a smile. “Yeah, yeah,” he said as he stood up. “I’ll be out in a bit.”

“’Kay. I’m hijacking your PS4 while you’re gone.”

“Be my guest,” Jack answered, laughing. He took a deep breath and headed for the bathroom, steeling himself. Whether or not he and Mark were ready to fix everything, their friends would steer them in the right direction again.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to warn you all, updates may start slowing down from now on. I'm going to _try_ to avoid that, but I can't make any guarantees, as I just started my last year of college today. (Finally! I _finally_ get my bachelor's degree in 9 months! I'm so excited! And also terrified of all these horrifying seminars and group presentations! Ahhh!) ...Okay, sorry, freak out over. But if chapters come out less often than usual, now you know why.

“Hello, everybody! My name is Markiplier! I usually try to avoid talking about my personal life in these videos, but this is going to be the exception. I made a big mistake, and now I need to fix it.

“Some of you might remember the green-haired Irishman who used to sometimes be in the background of some of my videos. A lot of you figured out that he was my boyfriend, and although I never flat-out said it before now, you were completely right about that. Some of you have also noticed that he hasn’t been there in a while, and that he started his own channel, and _I_ haven’t been in any of _his_ videos either.

“That man is Jack, and the reason he hasn’t been around is that I messed up. Majorly. I let him go, and I hurt him. And I’m sorry for that.

“Now, I heavily considered making this apology in person, and I _will_ be atoning privately too, but… Even though Jack never said it, never complained about anything… I know that some of the tension in our relationship was because I wasn’t ready to ‘come out’ to anyone other than our friends and family. So we had to hide ourselves in public in case a fan saw us, and pretend to be just friends or roommates. Dates weren’t really dates, and the only time we got to be _us_ was at home. So, this is me doing that. Coming out, I mean. I am bisexual, and I am in love with S—er, Jack. If he wants to say his real name at some point, he will, but I’m not gonna expose him here just for the sake of that declaration.

“So, this video is for you, Jack. To say that I’m sorry, and I’ll do whatever I can to fix it. It’s also for all of _you guys_ , to tell you that I’ll be around a bit less for a while. For the time being, I’m gonna bump it down from two videos every day to one. We’ll go back to two eventually, but right now, I think it’s important for me to spend less time on work and more on making things right with Jack… Before I lose him for good. I hope you all can understand.

“So… Thank you, everybody, so much for watching. And as always, I will see _you_ in the next video! Buh-bye!”

\-----

Mark took a deep breath as he finished rewatching the video and cut the bit of dead air off the end. He uploaded it before he could second-guess himself. Then he texted Jack the link and waited, staring at his phone with bated breath.

There was no reply.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song for this chapter and the next is "Take Back" by Adam Lambert. (And yes, I'm well aware of the fact that I'm probably too obsessed with him and his music. I have been since I was like 15.)

When Jack got home, he certainly wasn’t expecting the knock on the door before he even got a chance to change out of his work uniform. When he answered the door, he certainly wasn’t expecting to be met with a faceful of color flowers. But when the bouquet was lowered, he wasn’t all that surprised to see Mark’s nervous smile.

“Hey, Jack,” he said, expression turning apologetic and hopeful.

“Mark…”

“Wait, wait! I come bearing more than flowers!” Mark hurriedly maneuvered them around to reveal the container in his other hand. “Sushi!”

Jack laughed fondly. “Well, I can’t exactly turn you away when you brought food, now can I?” He took the flowers and waved the other man in. “Come in and we can… We can _talk_ , okay?”

“That’s all I ask for,” Mark said, holding his hands up in surrender. Jack found a vase while he dished up the food, and they moved to the dining room table. They ate in silence for a few minutes until Mark asked, “So… Did you see the video?”

“I did,” he admitted, looking down at his plate with a small smile. “I just… Didn’t really know how to respond.” Mark didn’t say anything, and eventually, he gestured to the flowers and food. “Look, Mark… This was all a sweet gesture, and so was the video. I appreciate it, I really do, but… I stand by my opinion. Sleeping together was… a mistake.”

“…Oh.”

“If we’re gonna try again,” Jack continued, unable to hide the grin creeping up his face, “then we have to start over. Take it slow, you know? Lily warned me as much when she found out we were talking again; I really should’ve listened.”

“…You ass.”

“Yeah?” he asked, struggling to contain a laugh.

“…You absolute ass!” This time, Jack couldn’t hold back his laughter, and Mark buried his face in his hands. “I thought you were about to shove me out of here again!”

Jack pried one of Mark’s hands away and held it, smile softening. “Okay,” Mark said. He let out a long breath, and repeated, “Okay. Slow. Let’s do that… Wade might’ve warned me too. I might be just as bad at listening as you are.”

Jack nodded, and after a minute, he jumped up from his seat. “Oh yeah! In the video, you said that you were going to put more time into this. Well, so am I.”

He slid a piece of paper across the table, and Mark read it. Then he looked up, gaping and shaking his head. “You’re putting in your two weeks’ notice? Uh-uh. No. I want this to work, more than anything, but I’m not letting you throw away your only source of income for it. Unless you’re going to let me support you, which somehow I don’t see happening—”

“I don’t have to.”

“Huh?”

Jack smiled and gestured for Mark to follow him. He led the way to the computer, tapped away for a minute, and waved grandly toward the screen. “Ta-da!”

Mark leaned down, squinting as he looked over the page. Then he looked to Jack, back to the computer, and back to Jack again. He straightened up with a grin. “Already?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I can’t believe your channel grew so fast!”

“Well, it got a boost after your video, but… Yeah.” He grinned, shrugging helplessly.

“That’s amazing, Jack! I’m so happy for you, that’s—” Mark cut himself off, beaming and shaking his head. He held up his arms to hug the other man, but stopped short and dropped them.

Jack rolled his eyes and pulled him into an embrace. Arms wrapped around and held him tightly, and Jack relaxed into Mark’s grip. He breathed him in and smiled against the crook of his neck. “Thank you, Mark.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, if anyone was wondering what kind of flowers they were, I totally put way too much thought into that lol. Orchids and Peruvian lilies, because they’re really pretty and have sweet meanings.
> 
> (Also, yes, in this fantasy world it is totally possible for Jack’s channel to become a stable income source that fast. Because I said so. :P)


	24. Chapter 24

“We haven’t really done much talking,” Mark eventually snickered. It was slightly muffled by the green hair in his face, but Jack heard it clearly.

“I know,” he sighed. He took Mark’s hand and led him back to the table, only reluctantly letting go so they could continue eating. “Okay. Ground rules. To make sure we don’t hurt each other any more than we already have.”

“Right. Um… Well, I think we’ve already covered the important stuff, haven’t we?” Mark asked, face scrunched in thought. “Start over, take it slow, spend more time together…”

“Right. And… God, I was gonna say ‘you can’t just leave me like that again,’ but that’s… That’s not fair. I can’t tie you to me forever.” Mark opened his mouth to object, but Jack continued without noticing. “Times change, and who’s to say that we won’t, too? So… How about this instead? If you want to leave, then… Promise you’ll talk to me. If there’s something wrong, give us a chance to fix it first. Or at least give me a chance to properly say goodbye.”

“I won’t,” Mark swore, but Jack’s frown didn’t disappear.

“Just promise me, Mark.”

“I… I promise,” he gave in, though there were a hundred other things he wanted to say instead.

“Thank you.”

Mark nodded. “And… More communication in general. Keeping quiet about things doesn’t help them.”

“Agreed. Anything else?”

“Um…” He bit his lip and glanced away. “You have to let me meet Lily?”

“Huh?” Jack raised an eyebrow, caught off guard by the sudden shift in topics. “…Wait, are you jealous?”

“No.” When Jack gave him a look, Mark huffed. “Okay, maybe a tiny bit. But mostly, it’s just… You already know all my friends; I wanna know yours. And I have to make sure she’s good enough for you. I’m not the only one who has a responsibility to treat you right, you know.”

Jack rolled his eyes, but a soft laugh countered the effect. “I think I can decide whether my friends are ‘good enough for me,’ Mark. But… Okay. I’ll introduce you to her sometime.”

“Good. I’ve been hearing about this girl ever since you started working at that awful place. I’m excited to finally see her.”

“I’m kind of excited, too,” Jack admitted. His eyes narrowed. “Why do I get the feeling you’re gonna do something weird, though? No interrogations, no purposefully freaking her out, no being a douche because you’re needlessly jealous, okay?” he said, emphasizing the ‘needlessly.’

“You sound like a girl bringing her first boyfriend home to dad,” Mark pointed out. Jack glared, and he threw his hands up with a laugh. “Okay, okay! I swear I won’t do anything to try to scare her away.”

“Thank you!” he cried in exasperation.

“You’re welcome,” Mark said with a cheerful smile. Jack groaned and dropped his head on the table. Noticing that the food was gone, Mark stood and threw the containers away. He came back to stand by Jack’s side, ruffling a hand through his hair. “I should get going.”

Jack sat up, grabbing the hand as it slid off his head. “You sure you don’t wanna stay?”

Mark checked the clock on the wall and grimaced. “I’d like to, but… I don’t think that would bode very well for the whole ‘slow’ thing, and I have some stuff I need to finish up tonight anyways.”

“Oh. Alright.”

They stood up and Jack showed Mark to the door, where they said their goodbyes. He closed the door behind him and wandered back into the kitchen, leaning against the counter as he went over the day in his head. After a few minutes, he glanced around, spotting the flowers on the table.

Jack smiled and pulled out his phone. _I shouldn’t…_ he thought, but the flowers had him feeling sappy. He started a new text to Mark without letting himself think about it too much.

_I miss you already._

There wasn’t an immediate answer, but that didn’t concern him. Mark would already be driving home, after all. However, when a reply _did_ come a while later, it didn’t disappoint. Jack read it over a few times and went about the rest of his day with a goofy grin.

_I miss you more <3_


	25. Chapter 25

“Okay, where’s Mark?” Lily questioned, clutching her purse strap as she glanced around nervously.

“The one with the red hair,” Jack answered, pointing.

Lily squinted in confusion. “That guy? I didn’t realize there would be other people coming, too…”

He laughed. “No, not the natural redhead over there. The guy at the next table with the _bright_ red hair.”

Her gaze shifted and caught on Mark, who sent a quick wave when he noticed them. As Jack waved back, Lily grabbed his arm and turned him to face her. “Why didn’t you tell me your boyfriend was hot?” she whispered accusingly.

Jack shrugged, laughing and blushing with a strange rush of pride. “Um… I don’t know. I didn’t think about it? I thought it would be obvious?”

“Well it is once you actually _see_ him!” she said, voice unintentionally rising.

“Am I gonna have to worry about you trying to steal him away?” he joked.

“Of course not. Besides, I have a girlfriend now. But I wish you would’ve warned me so I could have put some actual effort into my hair and makeup today. I feel self-conscious around attractive people.”

“And I don’t count?” Jack asked, his tone mock-defensive.

Lily rolled her eyes. “Of course you _would_ , but you’ve already seen me plenty of times in that disgusting uniform with a bun and no makeup at all. It’s not like I could make a _worse_ impression by not giving a fuck.”

He laughed, taking her by the elbow and guiding her forward. “Well, let’s just sit down. I promise he’s not a total asshole and won’t judge you on your looks. And even if he _did_ , you’re worrying over nothing; you look fine.”

“If you say so…” Lily muttered. She put on a smile as they approached the table and held out her hand to Mark. “Hi, Mark. I’ve heard so much about you! It’s nice to finally meet you!”

He shook her hand with an answering smile. “And you must be Lily. I’ve heard a lot about you, too.”

“That’s me!”

“Yeah, yeah, I talk about you both way too much,” Jack said with a laugh. He rubbed his stomach. “Can we order? I’m starving!”

“Right,” Mark agreed, standing up. “Lily, what do you like on your pizza?”

“Oh, uh, hold on,” she said, digging through her purse. “Just pepperoni for me, please.”

He held out a hand to stop her. “My treat,” he said before heading up to the counter. When he returned, Lily thanked him, and he waved it off. “So…”

“Mark...” Jack said warningly.

“What?”

“I hear that tone. Remember our deal?”

“Hey, I’m not doing anything wrong!” Mark objected. “I was just going to ask if she’ll stay in contact after you quit.”

Jack grimaced as Lily smacked his arm. “What? You’re quitting?” she asked shrilly.

“Uh… Yeah,” he admitted, looking down at the table.

“When? And when were you gonna tell me?”

“I was gonna tell you tomorrow… When we went in to work and I gave them my two weeks.”

Lily looked away, biting her lip. Her voice seemed much smaller when she spoke up again a minute later. “We will, right? Stay in contact?”

Jack gave her a small smile, pulling her into a one-armed hug. “Of course we will, dummy. You’re one of my best friends.”

“Good.” Lily and Mark blinked at each other as they spoke in unison.

“Uh… I know why I’m happy, but why are _you_?” Lily questioned with a laugh. Smirking, she added, “I kind of got the feeling you’re jealous and wanted to scare me off.”

“Why does everyone think that?” Mark asked, throwing his hands up in frustration.

“Because you’ve got those big, scary, puffed-up man vibes going on,” she mocked.

He rolled his eyes. “Well, not on purpose. No, I’m glad Jack’s got a friend that will stick by him. He should have more than just one person supporting him, and I can’t be there all the time anyways.”

Lily’s eyes softened. “Well, I’m glad we’re in agreement, then.”

“Do you really have to talk about me like I’m not right here?” Jack complained, but before either of them could answer, a waiter appeared with their pizza. They thanked him and each grabbed a slice. Half was pepperoni, and the other half was… “Pepperoni and jalapenos.”

 “We may be ‘starting over,’ but I get to cheat because I already know all your favorites,” Mark answered. They grinned at each other, and Lily made a quiet gagging sound.

“Yes, we know, you two are sickeningly sweet. Can we just eat now?”

Jack swallowed a bite quickly before returning, “What about you? You said you got a girlfriend, right? I’m sure you’re sickeningly sweet, too!” Lily smiled sappily down at her pizza for a moment before answering, and he pointed accusingly. “Ah-ha! See! She’s not even _here_ and you’ve got that look on your face!”

“Shut up!” Lily said, but she was still smiling.

“So, are you gonna tell me about her?” Jack prodded.

Although she acted reluctant, it was clear that Lily was dying to talk about it as soon as she got started. There were hearts in her eyes as she rambled, and Jack grinned and squeezed her hand under the table. Mark nodded and smiled, but didn’t say much.

When she finally ran out of steam, the conversation turned to other topics—new games and shows they were interested in, work, friends, YouTube, strange childhood stories, anything that came to mind. Mark joined in more then, but he eventually interrupted to ask if Lily had a pen. She looked confused, but found one in her purse and handed it to him. Jack frowned as he started scribbling on a napkin, but was ignored.

A minute later, Mark slid the napkin across the table, trying to hide a smile behind his hand. Jack crooked an eyebrow at him as he picked it up.

_Will you go to the movies with me on Friday?_

The question was followed by empty boxes with “Yes” and “No” next to them. Jack read the note, giggled, and looked back across the table at Mark. “What is _this_?”

Mark shrugged, doing a poor job of hiding his own laughter. “Since we’re starting over, I thought I’d go _way_ back to the beginning.”

“ _Whose_ beginning?” he asked skeptically. “I’m pretty sure this never happened. We started dating in college, not junior high, ya weirdo!”

Curious, Lily peeked over his shoulder and laughed. “Well, you can’t just leave the poor boy hanging, Jack! You have to send back your answer!”

“Yeah, Jack! Don’t leave me hanging!” Mark echoed, pouting at him with wide eyes as he handed over the pen.

Jack rolled his eyes but checked the box “Yes” box. Then he handed the note to Lily, cupped a hand around his mouth, and stage-whispered, “Will you pass this to Mark? I’m too shy to talk to him myself!”

Lily snickered and obligingly slid it back to Mark. He played along, reading the note with a quiet, “Yay!” He flailed his arms happily, and Jack finally cracked up, burying his face in his hands as he laughed. Then he snorted, and that set the other two off, all of them laughing until they started getting dirty looks from people at the tables around them.

“Maybe we should get going,” Jack eventually suggested, trying to contain his giggles.

“Maybe,” Lily agreed. She checked the time on her phone and cringed. “We’ve been here for a lot longer than I expected anyways.”

Jack looked at the screen when she held it up for him and blanched. “Shit, yeah. Sorry, didn’t mean to keep you here all day!”

“Nah, it’s fine,” she said, shrugging off the apology. “This was fun. But, uh…” Lily glanced between Jack and Mark questioningly. “Are you still gonna walk me back?”

“I can drive you both home,” Mark offered.

Jack looked to Lily for the final decision, and she shrugged. “Sure. Thank you, Mark.”

“No problem. Are you guys ready to leave?”

“Yeah, in just a minute. I need to use the restroom first,” she said. She shot a quick look at him that Jack luckily missed.

“Oh, me too,” Mark said, doing his best to hide his confusion. He handed the keys to Jack and asked, “Here, can you start the car while you wait?”

Jack glanced between them, but took the keys with a nod. He grabbed the leftover box and headed for the door, while the other two went the opposite direction. Lily led the way to the hall with the bathrooms, stopping once they were out of sight and rounding on Mark.

“Look, Jack’s still in love with you,” she said bluntly.

Mark rubbed his arm and squinted at her in confusion. “I—uh—What is this about?”

“He was happier today than I’ve seen him in way too long,” she continued, and Mark smiled.

“Um, I’m glad. That’s good, but—”

“But I swear on my mother’s grave—”

“Your mom’s dead?” Mark asked, wide-eyed. “Shit, I’m—”

“No, she’s not! It’s just an expression!” Lily said, exasperated. “Jeez, you know exactly what this is, don’t you? You’re just trying to mess with me!”

Mark sniggered. “Maybe just a little.”

“You have to let me do the speech!” she objected. “I’ve never had anyone to do it for before!”

“Okay, okay,” he said, sobering. “The floor is yours.”

“I swear,” Lily continued as though he hadn’t interrupted, “That if you ever hurt him like that again, I will hunt you down and tear you limb from limb.” She poked him hard in the chest to emphasize her point and glared, adding, “A woman scorned is something to be feared, but a woman whose best friend was scorned is something far worse. You fucked up once, don’t do it again.”

“Very intimidating,” Mark said, nodding somberly. She growled in frustration, and he held his hands up placatingly. “No, I’m serious! I would be genuinely scared of you if I messed up with Jack again. But I have no intention of doing that,” he said reassuringly. He gave Lily a soft smile, and she nodded in satisfaction.

“Good. But I’m watching you.”

“I’d expect nothing less.”


	26. Chapter 26

“You sure you’re up for this?” Jack questioned, raising an eyebrow. “I mean I’ve seen how you react to scary games; do you really wanna watch a horror movie?”

“Shut up,” Mark said, lips pursed. “I’m a manly man!”

Jack hummed doubtfully. “Sure ya are.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, affronted.

“Nothing, nothing at all,” Jack sang. As they entered the darkened room, he had the sudden image of the two of them making out in back of the cinema. It wasn’t a memory; if they paid the ridiculous price for tickets, they always actually watched the movie. It was just a dumb cliché that his brain conjured up, and it made him laugh.

“What’s up?” the other man whispered, and Jack shook his head.

“Nothin’. Just choose a seat already.” When Mark led him down the back row and sat down, he sniggered again.

“Seriously, what’s so funny? Do I have something on my face?”

“It’s really nothing. My mind’s just wanderin’ weird places.”

Mark squinted suspiciously for a moment before shrugging and turning to face the screen. His hand fell onto the armrest between them, and Jack eyed it while they watched the previews. As soon as the movie started and the lights dimmed, though, he rested his own hand over Mark’s. The other man flashed him a quick smile and squeezed, and they turned their attention to the film.

Holding hands meant that Jack had to reach awkwardly with his left hand for the popcorn in Mark’s lap, but it was well worth it. He felt a strange mix of familiarity from their years together and new, nervous butterflies. In some ways this was just a continuation of their previous relationship, but in others, it really was like their first date. It was a weird feeling, but not a bad one.

The movie fell back on a lot of horror movie tropes, but some interesting twists near the end redeemed it in his eyes. Plus, there was the bonus of it scaring the shit out of Mark. He was clearly trying not to show it, but he kind of gave it away when he jumped in his seat and squeezed Jack’s hand way too tightly. Jack let it go, but made a mental note to tease him mercilessly about it later.

He got his chance as soon as they exited the theater, squinting in the sudden light of the setting sun. “So… that witch was pretty freaky, huh?” he drawled.

“Nope, not at all,” Mark denied, lips pressed together tightly in an attempt to hide his amusement and embarrassment.

“Really? I think my crushed bones would beg to differ,” Jack said, holding his hand up limply in front of Mark’s face.

“They aren’t crushed, ya big baby.”

“ _I’m_ the baby? _You’re_ the one who nearly wet himself when the witch appeared outta nowhere!”

Mark rolled his eyes but chuckled. “Fine, maybe I was a _little_ freaked out. Happy now?”

“Very.”

They reached the car, and Mark leaned his arms on the roof, peering over at Jack. “You want me to take you home now?”

Jack nodded, grimacing regretfully. “That’d probably be a good idea. I have to wake up early for work.”

“I’m so glad you’re finally getting outta there,” Mark said with a smile. “I know that place has been dragging you down for so long. I’m amazed you’ve managed to stay as positive and happy as you have.”

The other man just shrugged, unwilling to tell Mark just how unhappy he’d been over the past few months. “Well, it’s almost over now.”

“Good.” They climbed into the car, the conversation turning back to the movie as they drove through the city. When they reached Jack’s apartment, he climbed out, and Mark unexpectedly followed. There was an awkward pause at the door again, but this time, it didn’t feel horrible. It just felt like waiting, and anticipation. Because this time, Jack knew that there would be a _next_ time. There would be another chance.

So when Mark said, “Goodnight, Sean,” and turned away, Jack just smiled, and allowed his stupid heart to go into overtime at the use of his real name, and went inside to settle into sleep and sweet dreams.


	27. Chapter 27

“I’m free!” Jack screamed.

Mark blinked and pulled the phone away for a moment to rub his ear. “Congrats!”

“Thanks, Mark,” he replied, the grin clear in his voice.

“Wanna do something to celebrate?”

“Are you asking me on another date?” Jack asked slyly.

Mark laughed. “Sure, let’s call it that.”

The other man made a small noise of confusion, but just said, “Let’s do it.”

“You just got out, right? Are you still at the store?”

“Yep.”

“I’ll pick you up there.”

“No! I have to get out of this uniform before we go out!” Jack objected. After a moment’s thought, he added, “And maybe burn it.”

“That’s okay. We can stop at your place for you to change first, and then we can go to mine. I need to pick something up.”

“Alright. How long ‘til you get here?”

“Ten minutes.”

“’Kay. See you then.” Jack hung up and sat on the curb with a happy sigh.

A few minutes later, Lily walked out of the front doors and sat down next to him, hugging his arm and burying her face in his shoulder. “I can’t believe you’re leaving me all alone here.”

“You won’t be alone.”

“Sure, there are lots of other people, but they all suck.”

“Tim’s really nice to you.”

“Tim wants to get in my pants,” she corrected.

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

Lily sat up and gave him a small smile. “Don’t be. I’m just being whiny and overdramatic. Just promise that you’ll still talk to me, that you’ll tell me if you ever need someone to kick Mark’s ass, and that you’ll stay awesome and warm-hearted and still remember me even after you get famous.”

Jack laughed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Famous?” he repeated incredulously. “Well, I don’t know about all that, but I promise I’ll still talk to you and always remember you.”

“Good.” Before she could say any more, Mark’s car rolled up to the curb. Lily stood up with a sigh. “Guess that’s my cue to leave. Goodbye, Jack.”

Jack stood up and hugged her. “See you later,” he said, and it almost sounded like a correction. She smiled in response, and waved as he climbed into the car and pulled away.

“So, how’s it feel to be a free man?” Mark asked with a smirk.

Jack laughed. “ _So_ good!”

“I think I know what’d make it even better…”

“What’s that?”

“Cake.”

Jack laughed again, clapping giddily. “You know me too well. So, what? We’re going to a restaurant just to order dessert?”

“Not quite.”

“Then _what?_ ”

“You’ll see,” Mark teased.

He drove to the apartment, and Jack changed as quickly as possible before hopping back in the car. “Off we go!” he yelled, pointing.

When they got to Mark’s house, he got out and leaned down to talk to Jack. “You might as well come in and check the place out. This’ll probably take a few minutes.”

“Alright.” Jack followed him up the walk, and Mark opened the door, gesturing for him to go in first. He only got one foot in the door before the commotion made him freeze.

“Surprise!” Several voices called at once.

Jack looked around and spotted Wade, Molly, Bob, Mandy, and Tyler all standing around with confetti and noisemakers. He turned a confused look to Mark, who just grinned back. “Huh?”

“It’s a surprise party, ya big dumb-dumb.”

“I… see that. But it’s not my birthday.”

“It doesn’t have to be your birthday to be a big day.”

“Hey, Jack! I heard the good news! Congrats!” Tyler said, walking up and patting his shoulder.

Jack smiled back. “Thanks, man. It’s pretty exciting.” They made small talk for a minute, and after Tyler walked away, he turned back to Mark. “I stand by my opinion that this is weird, but… Thank you. It was really nice of you to set this up.”

“No problem. Go try some of the cake. I promised cake, and I deliver on my promises.”

“The cake _wasn’t_ a lie?” Jack asked with a cheesy grin.

Mark huffed, but the amusement in his eyes was clear. “No, it wasn’t. Now go enjoy your party.”

“Okay, but first…” He pulled out his phone, opening up the camera. “I have to post a few selfies.”

Mark rolled his eyes but obligingly posed for a few pictures, simply smiling in both of them. Jack, on the other hand, made an exaggerated surprised face for the first picture, his eyes wide and hand held in front of his gasping mouth. For the second picture, he kissed Mark’s cheek, but his eyes were still aimed at the camera instead of the other man. Then he pulled away and tweeted them both out with a short, half-joking message:

_Omg @markiplier threw me a surprise party! How sweet is he??_

Jack spent the rest of the party slightly worried that his phone would explode as he got more notifications than he ever had before. The very first one was a ‘like’ from Mark.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna be honest: I have no clue how much longer this will be, but the rest of it is probably gonna be mindless fluff, because... Well, because that's what I want right now, and because I think there was more than enough pain and miscommunication in the first part lol

_Wanna go out for dinner?_

Jack stared at his phone, willing himself to reply, get off the couch, and get ready. He only managed one of three.

_I would, but I’m so fucking tired. Spent all day running errands and cleaning. Who knew that could be more exhausting than work?_

_Alright. :) Wanna have a lazy night in instead? I can cook, and we can have an anime marathon._

He smiled at the message, already imagining it. Company and a home-cooked meal sounded absolutely amazing.

_Sure, that sounds great. Thanks :)_

_No problem. I’ll be over in a while._

\-----

Mark appeared on his doorstep about half an hour later, plastic containers in hand. “Delivery!”

Jack’s stomach growled, and he laughed. “I think you’re here just in time.”

“I guess it’s a good thing this stuff was already in progress, then.” He moved to the kitchen and poured the chicken and dumplings into bowls.

When Jack got his bowl, he inhaled deeply. “It smells great.” He sat back down on the couch, huddling under a blanket and turning on his latest anime obsession. As the opening song played, he took a bite and sighed loudly. “This is fucking amazing. I miss your dumplings so much.”

Mark smiled wistfully and sat down on the other side, facing Jack with his knees tucked up under his chin. “I guess I’ll have to make them more often, then.”

“Doesn’t it take forever to prepare, though?”

He shrugged. “It’s not too hard to put the chicken in before bed, and the rest doesn’t take that long. Just promise that it won’t go to waste.”

“Obviously,” Jack scoffed, laughing. “Do I ever let food go to waste? Especially food this good?”

“No, I suppose not,” Mark answered with a chuckle. A sudden shiver ran through his body, and he reached out for the corner of the blanket. “Hey, do you mind sharing some of that?”

“Oh, sure,” he said. He shuffled closer, leaning against Mark’s legs and doing his best to tuck the blanket around both of them.

“Not exactly what I was thinking, but it works,” Mark said, smiling softly. He readjusted, splaying his legs out to either side of the other man.

Jack scooted closer again and laid back against Mark’s chest. For a while, there was only the sound from the TV. Then he commented, “You know, you make a good pillow.”

“Really?” Mark asked, laughing. He maneuvered carefully to set his empty bowl on the table without jostling Jack.  “It doesn’t look very comfortable.”

“It’s not,” he confirmed. He tilted his head up to give Mark a lopsided smile. “But at the same time, it is.”

“I’m… not sure I understand.”

“You don’t have to,” Jack said with a shrug. “This is just… nice. I’m happy.”

“Good.” On a whim, Mark wrapped his arms tightly around Jack, grinning into his hair. Jack didn’t object, snuggling in and turning his attention back to the show.

\-----

After a few hours, Mark gently pushed Jack into a sitting position so he could stretch. “I should probably get going now.”

“Do you have to?” Jack pouted.

“You want me to stay?” Mark asked, a bit surprised.

Jack smiled, laying a hand on Mark’s face and running a thumb over his mouth. Then he closed the space between them, replacing his thumb with his lips. He pulled away after a few seconds, asking quietly, “Does that answer your question?”

Mark returned his smile with a nod, leaning in to steal another kiss. Jack responded eagerly, sliding his hand back down to Mark’s neck. He slipped his tongue past the other man’s lips, grinning at the small noise that escaped him. They kissed lazily for a few more minutes, and then he shifted, swinging a leg over Mark’s lap to straddle him.

Mark pulled back, gently pushing Jack off. “We agreed to go slow,” he reminded him softly.

Jack bit his lip with a blush. “Right. Sorry.”

“I’m not mad,” Mark said with a low laugh. “Far from it. But that was what you wanted.”

“Yeah.” He took a few deep breaths and stood up. “I’ll be right back. Bathroom.”

“’Kay.” Mark sighed, sinking back into the couch cushions as Jack disappeared down the hall.

He came back a minute later, leaning over the back of the couch to wrap his arms around Mark. He pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and asked, “Come to bed with me?”

Mark jumped, turning to look at him with a disbelieving expression. “Didn’t we _just_ —?”

Jack cut him off, holding up his hands defensively. “Just sleeping!” When Mark continued to watch him carefully, he huffed. “I promise. I just don’t want you to leave yet.”

Mark eyed him for a few more seconds, then nodded. “Alright.” He stood up, waiting while Jack turned off the TV and lights. Then he took Mark’s hand, leading him into the bedroom. He didn’t bother to turn on the light before stripping down to his boxers and climbing into the bed. Mark followed hesitantly, laying down and facing away from Jack. He felt the other man slide closer, throwing an arm over him, and let himself relax when nothing more happened. Eventually, he drifted off with the feeling of the slight weight on his side, a cold foot tucked between his own, and steady breathing on the back of his neck.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to let you guys now, from now on there will probably be bigger time jumps in between each chapter. We've got a while left, but I think we're coming down to the final stretch of this fic. :)

“Babe?”

“Wha?” Mark mumbled.

Jack let out a loud yawn, then asked, “What’s your biggest fear?”

Mark chuckled. It had become a habit for one of them to stay at the other’s house most nights, just talking and kissing until they fell asleep, and Jack’s questions seemed to get deeper and more random each night. “Hmm… The ocean. You know that.”

“Nah, I’m talking about real fears, not that surface stuff.”

“Ah… Death,” he answered simply.

“Really?”

“Mmhmm. What’s yours?”

“Being alone,” Jack mumbled into Mark’s shoulder.

“Huh? You spend tons of time alone.”

“ _Really_ alone,” he said. “Like, permanently.”

Mark bit his lip, wanting to reassure Jack but unable to find the words. Instead, he held him tighter and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Jack nuzzled him with a contented sound. Recognizing the signs that he was falling asleep, Mark whispered, “Goodnight, Jack.”

“Mm. Night.”

\-----

No matter how long they were together, Mark would never get used to the sight of Jack in the mornings. His face was peaceful, his hair stuck up in every direction, and he clung to whatever was closest, whether that was Mark or a pillow. It was painfully adorable.

 _When and why did I stop noticing these things?_ Mark wondered, berating himself. Jack shifted his grip on Mark’s arm and he grinned, reaching for the nightstand with his other arm. He grabbed his phone and opened the camera, looking at it with a small smile. Then he snapped the picture and set the phone aside.

He watched Jack for a few minutes, eyes drooping as he debated getting up for the day. In the end, he decided that sleep sounded nicer than attempting to wrestle his arm back.

\-----

“Hey, Jack?” Mark asked, watching as the other man set up a pan to cook bacon.

“What’s up?”

“First of all, grease is gonna splatter and burn you if you don’t put a shirt on.”

Jack turned and stuck his tongue out, but went back to the bedroom and reappeared properly dressed a minute later. “That’s not actually what was on your mind, right?”

Mark shook his head, chuckling. “No. Actually…” He hesitated, suddenly realizing how creepy his question might seem, but decided to just go for it. “I took a picture of us while you were asleep, and I was just wondering if it’d be okay to post it.”

Jack’s brows furrowed, but he turned away with a shrug. “I mean, as long as it’s not totally indecent or something, I don’t really care.”

“No! It’s just from the shoulders up!” Mark said, opening the picture to show him.

He looked at the picture and smiled before turning back to the stove. “It’s cute.”

“Exactly,” Mark laughed. He stared at it for a few seconds before posting it to Instagram, adding a simple caption that he knew was true.

_I’m a lucky guy._

\-----

“Hello?”

“Hi, Mark.”

“Jack? It’s like four in the morning. Is something wrong?”

“No, it’s just…”

Jack paused, and Mark could practically see the embarrassed look on his face. He put his phone on speaker and laid back down, smiling at it. “What?” he prodded.

“Jesus, this is stupid. Never mind. I’m sorry I woke ya up, Mark. Goodnight.”

“No, wait! Really, what’s up?”

“…I can’t sleep.”

“I’m sorry. You just want some company while you’re stuck awake?”

“…Not exactly.”

“Huh? Then why’d you call?”

“I guess I should’ve said, ‘I can’t sleep without listening to your voice.’”

“Geez, you’re too cute for your own good.”

“Hey!” Jack objected. “It’s not like I chose for this to happen! I just got used to talking to you before bed; it’s some kinda Pavlovian response or something. Or maybe you’re just so boring that you put me to sleep.”

“Rude. If I’m so boring, then I guess I’ll just go.”

“No, don’t! I’m sorry. You know I’m just teasing.”

“I know,” Mark chuckled. “So, what? You just want me to talk at you until you fall asleep?”

“…Would you?”

“Sure. Uh… What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know. Anything.”

“Hmm… Well, let’s start with this: what’re you wearing tonight?”

“Mark!”

“Just kidding!” Mark smirked. He rolled over, staring at his ceiling thoughtfully. “I really don’t know what to say, though… Oh! What if I just read to you? Would that be weird?”

“No, that’s a good idea.”

“Alright, just a sec.” He climbed out of bed, turning on a lamp and squinting in the sudden light. Then he rummaged around his bookshelf, grabbed one he hadn’t read before, and laid down again, pulling the blanket tight over his shoulder. “How about _The Road_?”

“I have no idea what that is, but sure.”

“Neither do I. Let’s find out,” Mark said before he began reading.

Jack seemed to enjoy the story, or at least the parts he was awake for. After that, it became a pattern for him to call and listen to Mark read when they were apart. Mark thought that he should probably be annoyed about being woken up at the strange hours that Jack went to bed, but it was hard to be upset when he was reading an interesting book and listening to his boyfriend’s sleepy murmurs. Instead, he found himself strangely relishing in the routine.

By the end of the week, they had finished the first book, and Mark decided to trawl the nearest bookstore for more that they would both enjoy.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm sorry for only posting one chapter a week throughout October, but... Now that Haunted Septiween is over and NaNoWriMo has started, you can probably expect much faster updates until this fic is finished in about... Four-ish chapters?
> 
> To be honest, a large chunk of this chapter was not planned at all. It only came about because of the desperation of a ten-minute word war, but I actually feel like it added something important, so I kept it in.

Mark was in the middle of reorganizing his shelves when his doorbell rang. He squinted at the door, trying to think of any plans he’d forgotten or packages that he should be expecting. Not coming up with anything, he cautiously rose to answer the door and found Jack standing on the other side.

“I’m like a giant ball of nervous energy right now,” he explained, wide-eyed and bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Mark laughed and gestured for him to come in. “I know the feeling. If you hadn’t shown up, I’d probably just keep cleaning and reorganizing everything until the house was spotless and I woke up tomorrow and couldn’t find anything at all.”

“Yeah…” Jack said, distracted. He paced across the living room until Mark gently took him by the shoulders and pushed him down into a seat.

“Wanna play a game?”

“Sure, you pick.”

Mark opened a game at random and sat down next to Jack. They played silently for a few minutes, until he gave up on the charade and put down his controller with a sigh. “Wade’s proposing tonight.”

“I know.”

“I can’t focus on anything else. I’m too anxious! I think _I_ might be more nervous than _he_ is!”

Jack set his controller down, too, turning sideways on the couch to look at Mark. “Me too. My palms are literally sweating while I wait for the news,” he said, holding his hands up in demonstration and laughing.

Mark chewed on his bottom lip for a moment before suggesting, “Maybe we should do something that doesn’t require any concentration.”

“Well, we could watch another movie, but I probably won’t remember anything about it…”

“True…”

Before they could consider any more ideas, their phones chimed simultaneously. Both men lunged to grab them off the table and unlock them.

_She said yes!!!_

The message was accompanied by a picture of Molly’s hand with her new engagement ring. Mark and Jack grinned at each other, and Jack clapped giddily. Mark started dialing, but the other man stopped him with a hand on his arm. “You can’t call! They’re probably still in the middle of some super-romantic cheesy date!”

“Oh. Right,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, I have to at least send a text to congratulate them.”

“That’s probably a better idea,” Jack admitted. “Give them my regards, too. No point in bombarding ‘em with multiple texts.”

“Alright,” Mark agreed.

_That’s so great! So happy for you, man! Jack says congrats, too!_

The reply came surprisingly quickly, and he supposed Wade must have been waiting for their messages.

_Thanks buddy! Best day of my life (until the wedding, I’m sure)! And you’re with Jack again, huh? You two have been spending a lot of time together lately. Maybe you’ll be next ;)_

Jack looked up excitedly at the sound of the notification. “So?”

Mark blushed and exited out of his texts without responding. “Uh, he just said thanks. And that it’s the best day of his life.”

“I can only imagine,” he said with a chuckle. He sagged back into the cushions with a sigh. “I knew she’d say yes, but… It’s still a huge relief.”

“Yeah,” Mark agreed, a laugh bubbling out of his throat as he exhaled. “I never knew I could be such a nervous wreck over something that has nothing at all to do with me.”

“Same.” Jack scooted over, leaning into his side, and Mark wrapped an arm around him.

“You should see the smile on your face right now,” he said, beaming down at him. He pressed a kiss to Jack’s hair, and Jack tilted his head curiously.

“Huh?”

“Nothing, just… God, I love you. You know that, right?”

Jack smiled up at him. A bit nervously, he answered, “I didn’t, for a while. And I’m sure you doubted my love, too. Maybe that’s where we went wrong. We loved each other, but we didn’t show it enough.”

“Well, I do. I really, really do.”

“I know that now. And somewhere deep down, I always did. But it was buried under all the other shit that kept piling up between us. I love you too, though. _So_ much.”

Mark grinned and squeezed him tighter. “We’re getting better, though, aren’t we? And we’ll _keep_ getting better.”

He nodded. “Yeah, we are, slowly but surely.”

“I love you, and I’m never gonna let you doubt it again. If I start to fuck up, you tell me. I don’t want things to fall apart again.”

“Alright. And you tell me when I mess up, too. We’ll talk it out instead of letting it kill us.”

“Exactly.”

Jack gave a small laugh. “Okay, enough with the serious talk and all the mushy crap.”

“What would you rather do?” Mark giggled.

He sat up straight, kissing Mark for several long seconds. “Well, that, for one.”

“That sounds like a good plan to me.”

“But also…” Jack trailed off, reaching for his abandoned controller before settling back in against Mark. “I wanna get back to kicking your ass at this game!”

“Oh, it’s on!” Mark chuckled. Jack unpaused the game, and Mark watched him for a minute, distracted. Wade’s comment was completely ridiculous, of course; they hadn’t been back together for _that_ long, and they were still relearning how to trust each other and get things right. Mark knew that it was just a dumb joke…

But still. How could he help it if it planted ideas in his mind?


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have three things to say about this chapter:  
> 1\. Just... I'm sorry. I've had this in my head for weeks, and I have been struggling with it the entire time. No matter what I tried, this scene just wouldn't come out the way I wanted it to. Eventually I had to just give in and go with what I've got.  
> 2\. This would be a good time to remember what I said about larger time skips (though the next chapter will be an exception to that).  
> 3\. Like my last Haunted Septiween fic, there is a warning for possible dubcon, because while consent is definitely given, there is some alcohol involved.

_Date night! :D_

Mark grinned at his phone. Usually, he was the one to bring the weekly date night they’d set up. In fact, this was the first time Jack had mentioned it on his own. Of course, they usually spent more time together than just the one night, but they’d decided that it was a nice idea to reserve that little patch of time for just them, no matter what.

_I know. Did you have something in mind that you wanna do?_

_Actually, yes_

_Okay… What is it?_

_Not telling! >:D_

_Do I at least get a hint?_

_Hmmm…. Well, it’s something you’ve done before but weren’t too fond of. But you’ll enjoy it this time. I’ll make sure of it._

_Well, that sounds foreboding!_

_You’ll know what I mean when we get there. Pick me up at 9?_

_That’s pretty late… You sure wherever we’re going will be open?_

_Yep! Now stop trying to weasel info outta me! I’ll see you later!_

_Alright. Love you. :)_

_Love you too. <3_

Mark set his phone back down with a sigh, running a hand through his hair. He rose and moved to his closet, muttering, “Guess I better be ready for anything. Hopefully it’s nothing _too_ terrifying.”

\-----

“ _This_ is it?” Mark questioned, his voice dripping with dread.

“Yep!” Jack answered with an unapologetic smile. Mark didn’t budge from his spot, staring up at the neon sign that spelled out the name of the club. Jack rolled his eyes and took him by the arm, dragging him inside. They showed their IDs and paid at a little window that reminded Mark of ticket booths, and then they entered the main area.

“This is really loud!” Mark said loudly.

“What?” Jack asked, face scrunched in confusion and hands cupping his ears in an attempt to hear better.

His boyfriend just rolled his eyes and shook his head, mouthing, “Never mind.”

Jack pulled him towards the bar and ordered matching drinks for them. Mark couldn’t hear what he ordered, but the glasses that the bartender gave them were definitely too tall, and undoubtedly had too many types of alcohol in them. “Why are we here?” he screamed before trying a sip. At least it tasted good.

“To dance!” Jack beamed. He led Mark to one of the high tables off to the side of the room and sat down, spinning to watch all the people on the dance floor.

Mark followed his gaze, marveling at the range. There were people who were flailing around, clearly too drunk to be dancing and looking like they would hit the floor any second. There were people who looked like they could be professionals, drawing the eyes of everyone in the crowd. And there were people who were standing way too close, grinding like they were in a bedroom instead of a busy club. He took a large gulp of his drink and spun away, turning his attention back to Jack. He was watching him with a hopeful expression, and Mark sighed, already knowing that resistance was futile. “…Alright.” He tried to tell himself that Jack’s excited smile was worth the inevitable embarrassment (and possible pain, if he was hit by any of those flailing limbs or ended up somehow falling on his ass).

“Yes!” Jack cheered. “Finish your drink so we can get out there!”

Mark stared down at his drink skeptically. “It might take a few minutes. And you have to finish yours, too!”

“Oh, I will. Don’t worry about me.”

“I wouldn’t exactly say ‘worried’ is the right word…”

Jack shrugged. “Whatever, just stop talking and start drinking!”

Mark huffed, hiding a small smile as followed the other man’s orders. “I’m going, I’m going!”

A bit later, their glasses were drained. Jack excitedly hopped up to set them on a tray by the bar, then pulled Mark onto the floor. “I love this song!” he yelled, resting his hands on Mark’s shoulders.

“Really?” he asked, trying to figure out if he even recognized whatever was playing.

“Nope!” Jack giggled. “I’ve never even heard it before.”

“You ass,” Mark said, laughing. He placed his hands on Jack’s hips, biting his lip. “I’m warning you: I don’t know how to dance.”

“Believe me, I’m well aware of that.” Jack shrugged, moving closer to talk into Mark’s ear in the hopes that they’d be able to hear each other better. “Neither can I. So what? I guarantee that no matter what we do, we won’t be the worst dancers out here.” He pulled back a tiny bit, raising a pointed eyebrow in the direction of three boys who looked too young to be there. Mark choked on his laughter when he realized that they were attempting to do a very drunken rendition of the Macarena.

“Point taken.”

“Good. Now just move to the beat.” He demonstrated, swaying in place and gently pushing Mark along with him. After a minute, Mark picked up on the rhythm and followed it without Jack’s help.

The song changed to something faster-paced. Jack suddenly smirked at him before spinning in his arms, one hand coming up to wrap around his neck as he pressed his back to Mark’s chest. Mark swallowed and glanced around to see if anyone was watching them. Maybe they were. He couldn’t tell; his eyes slid right over each person they passed, all of his attention zeroed in on Jack dancing against him. “Jack…” he warned, but the other man ignored him, either not hearing or not caring.

“C’mon, Mark. You’re supposed to be dancing, not standing there like a rock,” he teased. “You had it a minute ago. What happened?”

“ _You_ happened,” he hissed. Jack giggled unrepentantly and pulled Mark’s head down for a kiss. He resumed rocking from side to side, Mark following as he chased his lips. Despite being incredibly awkward and uncomfortable, Mark couldn’t help but feel that the entire situation was somehow stupidly hot.

Jack pulled away, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath as they continued dancing. Mark wrapped his arms around Jack’s waist and pulled him in even closer, kissing his neck and relishing in the gasp that he could see but not hear.

Jack got his revenge a minute later, watching Mark with lazy, half-open eyes as he ground back against him. Mark bit down hard on his own lip, making him grin. “Maybe we should head back to your house,” he suggested, moving away and turning to face Mark as the first hint of nerves shone through.

“You wanted to come down here tonight, and we haven’t been here very long… Are you sure?” Mark asked, and they both knew that the question had more meanings than he was saying aloud. Jack wiped his palms on his jeans and nodded.

“I’m sure.”


	32. Chapter 32

“Mornin’,” Jack said with a lazy smile as he stretched.

“Morning, babe,” Mark replied. He set a full tray down on the bed next to Jack and hovered anxiously. Shifting his weight from foot to foot, he finally huffed and blurted out unsurely, “Um… You’re not gonna kick me out this time, are you?”

Jack bolted upright, wide-eyed, and grabbed for Mark’s hand. “What? Mark, no! I told you I was sure, and I was. I’m not gonna change my mind this time, okay?”

“Okay…” he answered, but he still didn’t seem entirely convinced.

Jack moved the tray onto his lap and pulled on Mark’s hand until he sat down next to him. He leaned against the headboard, and Mark followed his lead. “I’m not scared anymore. It’s okay.” Mark nodded, biting his lip but seeming to relax a little. “Now, thank you for the breakfast in bed. It looks delicious, and you should just calm down and help me eat it.”

“Alright,” Mark agreed with a laugh. Jack took a bite of bacon, moaning happily, and then held it up to Mark’s mouth. He took the rest of it with a tiny giggle. “This is ridiculous.”

“I know,” Jack answered, but he didn’t seem at all upset about that fact. Truth be told, Mark wasn’t too upset, either.

They ate the rest of the breakfast, alternating between eating normally and laughing like idiots as they fed each other. When the food was nearly gone, Jack’s phone chimed. He groaned and stretched to grab it. “Wade,” he said, looking annoyed. “He’s fuckin’ lucky I’m already awake. He has a habit of texting way too early, and nobody should ever try to contact me before noon.”

Mark rolled his eyes. “Just check it already.”

“Yeah, yeah…” He scanned the text, then passed the phone to Mark. “Him and Molly wanna meet up with us tonight.”

Mark read over the message before handing it back with a nod. “Sounds good. Wait…” he paused, brows furrowed. “How did he know we were…?”

Jack laughed. “Please, Mark. We’ve hardly spent a minute apart in weeks; of course he knew we’d be together. And if we weren’t, I would’ve just said as much, and one of us would’ve passed the message on to you separately.”

“Alright. That makes sense.”

Setting the tray on the nightstand, Jack laid back down. He stretched with a loud hum and then curled up against Mark’s side, wrapping his arms around him. “Last night was fun. We should do that more often.” Mark raised an eyebrow at him, and he laughed. “I meant the clubbing!”

“I know,” he answered, sliding down against the pillows so he was even with Jack. “I just like to mess with you.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” Jack said, deadpan.

“You make it too easy!”

“Anyways,” he drawled pointedly. “As I was saying, we should go dancing and stuff more often.”

Mark hesitated, his expression unsure. “As entertaining as it was, I really don’t think that’s something I’d enjoy on a regular basis.”

“Hmm… How about a _semi_ -regular basis?” Jack asked with a chuckle.

“Maybe,” he hedged.

“Or if it’s the crowds you don’t like, we could just dance on our own here, or take lessons or something.”

“Maybe,” Mark repeated again, though he sounded a bit happier with that option.

“Alright,” Jack sighed. “They’re just ideas. It was just fun to get up and moving for a while. And watching you get all flustered was just the icing on the cake,” he added with a wink.

“I hate you.”

“Well, I love you,” Jack retorted, darting forward to kiss Mark’s nose. He wrinkled it with a laugh.

“I love you too. I _guess_ ,” he said, trying to pout.

“Well, I suppose that’ll have to be good enough… We should get out of bed.” The look on his face strongly contradicted the statement.

“Says the man who’s barely moved all morning.”

“You’re right. I really don’t want to. Let’s go back to sleep.” He closed his eyes, still clinging to Mark so he couldn’t leave.

“Make up your mind!” Mark said in an exasperated tone. “We really should get going. There’s shit to get done before we meet Wade and Molly, and no offense, but you smell horrible.”

“Nobody ever started an inoffensive statement with ‘no offense.’”

“Fine then, _all_ the offense meant. You should take a shower.”

Jack hummed tiredly, then cracked one eye open and gave him a mischievous smile. “Carry me.”

Mark shrugged, maneuvering his way out of Jack’s arms and walking to the other side of the bed. “Alright,” he said, picking the other man up.

Jack shrieked. “I was joking!”

“Too late,” he replied with a grin. He headed into the bathroom, and Jack clung desperately to his neck to avoid getting dropped.

Mark carefully set him down feet-first in the tub, then flipped on the water. Jack yelped again as the cold water hit his skin, glaring at Mark through the wet hair that fell into his face. “That was horrible.”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t say things that you don’t mean. Be careful what you wish for, and all that.”

Jack adjusted the water’s temperature and pulled the curtain closed between them. “I wasn’t ‘wishing’ for anything! It was a _joke_!”

Mark laughed as he turned to leave the room. Pausing in the doorway, he called over the noise of the shower, “I’ll bring you some clean clothes in just a minute!”

“I’ll have my revenge!” Jack yelled, ignoring him.

\-----

“Mark,” Jack sang as he wandered through the apartment, freshly showered and clothed. He made a stop in the kitchen, but his boyfriend was nowhere to be found. “Where are you?”

“Please don’t kill me,” Mark squeaked as he entered the living room. He was standing on the other side of the couch, using it as a barrier between them. Jack started to walk around it, and he moved to the other side, giggling. “I’m sorry!”

Jack hummed. “Oh, you better be,” he threatened.

“I really, really am! I’m sorry! I won’t do it again!”

Jack peered at him for a minute, then smiled and nodded. “Alright. You’re forgiven.”

“Really? It’s that easy?” Mark asked, eyes narrowed.

“Yep. You had the decency to apologize, so I have the decency to forgive you.” He crooked a finger at Mark and puckered his lips. The other man still looked suspicious, but he cautiously made his way over, inching around the couch. Jack stayed completely still, looking as innocent as possible, until they were kissing. Then he quickly swung his other hand out from behind his back to the back of Mark’s neck, loosening his grip on a washcloth and releasing an ice cube down the back of his shirt. He danced away as Mark squealed, a huge grin nearly splitting his face in two.

“I told you I’d get my revenge!”

\-----

“Hey, guys!” Wade called, waving them over. The cacophony in the restaurant of people talking and dishes clanging nearly drowned him out. “We’re over here!”

Jack led the way to the table, gesturing for Mark to slide into the booth before him. “Good to see you guys.”

“You too, Jack,” Molly said with a soft smile. “You should come by more often; we hardly see you.”

“Thanks, I’ll do that.”

“Congratulations on the engagement, by the way!” Mark beamed, glancing between them, and Jack echoed the sentiment.

“Thanks guys,” Wade said. Their hands were already resting on the table between them, interlocked, and he placed his other hand on top. Grinning at Molly, he said, “It really is exciting, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.”

“So am I,” Molly said, giving him a quick kiss.

“God, there are fuckin’ stars in your eyes,” Jack said, watching the exchange with a sappy smile.

“You’re one to talk!” Wade said, laughing as he dragged his attention away from his fiancée.

“Huh?”

Molly glanced pointedly between Jack and Mark. “I swear, there are more sickeningly sweet selfies of you two flooding my twitter feed than there are of us, and _we’re_ the ones getting married!”

“You’re exaggerating,” Mark objected. “We haven’t been posting _that many_ —”

Wade gave him a blank look, opening twitter up and turning his phone around to show them as he scrolled through Mark’s page.

“Okay, so maybe we’ve been posting a lot of pictures,” Jack said, blushing slightly.

“Did Mark tell you what I said to him the night I proposed to Molly?” Wade asked, directing his gaze at Jack with a raised brow.

“Huh? No… What is it?” he asked, glancing back and forth between Wade and Mark. Mark’s cheeks were tinted red, his lips stubbornly sealed.

Wade huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. “I knew he wouldn’t. Let’s just say I can see the future.”

“What are you talking about?” Jack asked, feeling like there was a lot going clear over his head.

“Ah, just forget about it. Clearly Mark isn’t ready to say anything.” Jack continued to look concerned, so Wade reassured him, “Don’t worry, it wasn’t anything bad. Let’s just drop it.”

Jack was clearly still a bit confused, but he nodded and let the subject drop. In an attempt to change it, he said, “Oh well! The focus should be on you two tonight anyways! You’re getting married! Let’s have a little impromptu party or something!”

 “Actually, that’s kind of why we called you here tonight…” Wade said, shooting a quick look to Molly before focusing back on the other two.

“Oh? We’re having a party?” Mark asked, one eyebrow raised.

“No, not that,” he said, waving it off. “But it is about the wedding. Um… I want you two to be my groomsmen. In fact, Mark, I’d like you to be my best man. If you want to, of course!”

Mark gaped at him. “Holy shit, Wade, are you serious? Of course I want to! I’d be fucking honored, man!”

“Same goes for me,” Jack added. “I’d love to be one of your groomsmen.”

“Oh thank god,” Wade said, sighing in relief.

“Wait, did you really think we’d say no?”

“Not really?” he said, shrugging. “You never know for sure, though. It was kind of nerve-wracking to ask.”

“And yet you weren’t scared to propose,” Jack said with a giggle.

“Well, not until you two started sending me frantic texts freaking out about it!”

“Whoops. Sorry,” Mark said, not sound particularly apologetic.

Wade rolled his eyes. “Whatever. What’s done is done, and everything worked out in the end anyways.”

He smiled at Molly, releasing her hand to put his arm around her shoulder. Molly leaned into his side, smiling up at him. “Love you,” she whispered.

“Love you too,” Wade answered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. She hummed contentedly, and Jack watched them with a gentle expression. He slid closer to Mark, laying his hand on his leg. Mark shot him a smile, silently taking his hand and interlacing their fingers.

Their waiter suddenly appeared to take their drink orders, and Mark and Jack jolted. “Oops, guess we should actually take a look at the menu,” Jack said with a laugh once the waiter was gone.

“Probably,” Mark agreed. He opened his and glanced up at the couple across from them. “Have you guys already decided what you want?”

“Yep,” Molly said, nodding. “We’re ready whenever you are.”

“I guess we’d better hurry then.” He flipped the page, skimmed it for a few seconds, and sat up straighter. “Alright, I know what I want. And I’m paying for everyone tonight, by the way.”

“Mark, you don’t have to—” Wade started, but Mark cut him off.

“Yes, I definitely do,” he argued. He gave him a slightly goofy grin. “One of my best friends in the world is getting married to the woman of his dreams. If this is supposedly the engagement party, then I obviously can’t let you pay for yourselves. So everything’s on me tonight.”

Wade looked like he still wanted to object, but he deflated after a moment. “…Thanks, Mark.”

“Don’t mention it. It’s the least I could do.”

“And the most we could do is find out if the staff will come sing to you like they do for birthdays,” Jack suggested with a sneaky smile.

“Don’t you dare!” Molly threatened, wide eyes darting around the restaurant in panic.

“Nah, I’m just kidding,” he said with a laugh. “You’re supposed to be _happy_ tonight, not miserable and embarrassed!”

“ _Thank you_ ,” she said emphatically, a small giggle escaping as she sagged in relief.

“Oh!” Mark exclaimed as he remembered something. “Before the waiter comes back and takes our menus, make sure you guys figure out what you want for dessert, too!”

“Dessert too?” Wade asked disbelievingly. “Mark, seriously, I can’t—”

“Uh-uh-uh!” Mark said, wagging a finger at him. “I’m not taking no for an answer tonight! Choose something that’ll rot your teeth out of your head, and let’s get this party started!” A few people around them turned to shoot him dirty looks, and he made a face, adding on, “…Quietly.”


	33. Chapter 33

Carefully juggling a pot and serving dish, Mark attempted to open the cupboard. After a minute of struggle, he managed to get it, only to find that it was empty. He rolled his eyes and set the dishes down, opening up the dishwasher that had just been run instead. He pulled the bottom out to grab two plates, but paused when he noticed the backed up purple puddle of soap. He sighed. “Jack!” he called, “The dishwasher’s broken again!”

Jack’s answering groan was loud enough that he could hear it from down the hall. Mark put the plates back in the dishwasher, closed it up, and scooped the food into the serving plate. Then he carried it back to the bedroom and held it up to show Jack. “Guess we’re eating off this tonight.”

“I don’t wanna call the landlord to come fix that damn thing again,” Jack whined as Mark took a seat next to him. “He’s such an ass! And it’ll only work for another week or two before it breaks right back down again!”

A thought crossed Mark’s mind, not for the first time, but he hesitated to bring it up. He turned to face Jack, watching as he pulled his knees up and miserably buried his face in the blanket that covered them. “Jack…”

“Yeah?” he responded, voice muffled.

Mind made up, Mark took a moment to steady himself and gather his thoughts. “Okay, so… We promised to talk about it if anything was bothering us,” he said, reaching to clasp one of Jack’s hands between both of his own.

A jolt of fear ran through Jack, dread settling in the pit of his stomach, but he nodded. “Right…” he answered unsteadily, shifting to face Mark and fold his legs underneath himself.

“Right. Well, I—Shit. I don’t know how to put this delicately.”

Jack closed his eyes and sighed. “Just say it,” he said, his tone resigned.

“Alright. Um. This apartment is shit.”

“What?” His eyes opened again, widening in surprise. “ _That’s_ what this is about?”

“Yeah.” Apparently not noticing his boyfriend’s distress, Mark pushed on. “This place is horrible; everything’s falling apart, the landlord is an enormous douchebag, and you need more space now that your channel is growing and you’re getting more equipment and more gifts from fans. But I know it’s not my place to say anything, so…”

“No, uh, thank you for being so concerned for me,” Jack replied, his voice still tinted with confusion.

“And I know that if you _did_ decide to go somewhere else, you’d be totally capable of supporting yourself, and you really don’t need my help, but… Well, I’d just be more comfortable—and I’ve got a pretty big place now, too big for just me, and—” Mark cut himself off, biting his tongue to stop his own rambling. He took a deep breath to collect himself and finished more quietly. “I guess what I’m trying to ask is… Will you move in with me again?”

Jack laughed disbelievingly. “Jesus, for a second there, I thought you were gonna break me up with me again,” he said, resting a hand over his pounding heart.

“You still don’t trust me,” Mark concluded dully.

“No! No, Mark, I do!” Jack hastened to reassure him. “That was just… a really, really bad way to start off a conversation.”

He cringed. “Okay, yeah, I see your point… My question still stands, though.”

Jack bit his lip. “I need to think about it.” Mark’s face fell just a bit, and he squeezed his hand. “I just paid the rent last week, so it’d be pointless to give the landlord my month’s notice right now anyways. So… Three weeks, until I give him my next check. Let me think about it for three weeks, okay? And then I’ll decide.”

“Alright,” Mark said, nodding. “Alright. I understand. It’s a big decision, and you need time to come up with an answer. Three weeks.”

“You’re rambling again,” Jack pointed out, smiling sweetly. He leaned forward to kiss Mark and squeezed his hand gently again before letting go. “Thank you for understanding.”

"Right." He sighed and shot Jack a smile. Speaking half to Jack and half to himself, he said, "Of course I understand. I'm not gonna freak out about it anymore. You have a right to decide whether or not you stay here. I'm just worried."

"It's okay. I get it," Jack insisted. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Mark said. He hummed quietly and kissed Jack's cheek. "Now let's dig in!"

"Yum, that's something I _don't_ have to think about!" he agreed, grabbing a spoon. He leaned closer, nudging Mark with his shoulder. "Love you."

"Love you too."

\-----

"I'm moving in with you," was the first frantic sentence that Mark heard when he answered his phone.

"Oh. Okay," he said, blinking in surprise.

"Aren't you happy about that?"

"Yeah, obviously. Of course I am," Mark said with a laugh. "It's just very... sudden. You said three weeks, and it's only been one."

"Yeah, well..." Jack trailed off, and Mark finally caught on to how pissed off he sounded.

"Wait, did something happen? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Jack reassured him. "But, uh..."

"Yeah?" Mark pushed.

He forced a laugh. "My fucking oven caught fire. I thought it was gonna explode! The fire department came and everything, and everyone in the building had to evacuate. One guy came out with just a towel around his waist, because he was in the shower when the alarms started going off."

"Holy shit! Is everyone okay?"

"Yeah, they managed to contain the fire pretty quickly, so only some stuff in the kitchen got damaged. But it's safe to say that I am never using that stove again."

"I can see why," Mark said. He refrained from commenting again on how appalling the state of Jack's apartment was.

"Yeah." Jack paused, but Mark could hear the hesitation in his silence.

"What's up?" he asked, prodding gently.

"I just... Do you mind if I move in sooner rather than later?" Jack rushed out nervously.

"What? Why would I mind that?" Mark asked disbelievingly. "Of course not! You're welcome to come as soon as you can get your stuff packed. Hell, if you want, you can just bring the essentials and move in today. We can always get the rest of your stuff later, and I can help you pack if you want."

"Thank you," Jack said quietly after a few moments. "Really, you're a lifesaver."

"Hey, you don't have to thank me," he insisted. "If anything, I'm being selfish. I can't wait to have you sleeping in my arms every night and know that you're nearby every day."

"Lord, you're a cheesy son of a bitch!" Jack laughed.

"You know it," Mark agreed, chuckling along. "I am not ashamed of my poetic nature."

"I said cheesy, not poetic."

"Eh, same thing, really."

"No, it's really not. But that's okay. You may be a cheeseball, but you're _my_ cheeseball."

"Now who's being cheesy?"

"Ugh, you're right," Jack said with an exaggerated groan. "You must be infecting me!"

"Good, you're catching my cooties," Mark said, relishing in the laugh it startled out of Jack. "So, when do you wanna come? I'll adjust my schedule so I can come pick up you and your stuff. I'm not letting you drag your boxes on and off a bus."

"...Now?" Jack suggested sheepishly.

"Alright. I'll be there in a few."

"Thank you. And Mark?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too. See you soon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'll admit that I included my own personal memory in this chapter, just because it still amuses me to this day. Jack's story about the oven catching fire and the whole apartment complex being evacuated actually happened to my family when I was like 3. Except we weren't the people whose oven caught fire, we were the neighbor family and my father was the one that we had to drag out in a towel haha


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, the end! For anyone whose gotten this far: thanks for sticking with me through this whole thing!
> 
> Sorry for any possible inaccuracies in the wedding. I hope you enjoy this very last chapter!

"Wow. You look... Wow."

"Careful there, Markimoo. Your jaw's about to hit the floor," Jack said, giggling.

"Well, for damn good reason!" he defended. "You should wear tuxes more often!"

"They aren't exactly everyday wear," Jack replied. Jokingly, he asked, "And are you saying I don't always look good?"

"That's not what I'm saying and you know it," Mark chuckled. "You just look _especially_ good today."

"Well, you're not lookin' too bad, yourself," Jack said with a grin.

Mark moved in, resting his hands on Jack's hips. He gave him a quick kiss and then rested their foreheads together. "I'm tempted to just keep you here all to myself," he said, a teasing twinkle in his eye.

"Sorry, but you have to share tonight," Jack said, laughing.

"I know, I know... I said I was _tempted_ , not that I actually _would_."

Jack pressed a lingering kiss to his lips before pulling away. "C'mon, babe. We've got a wedding to get to."

\-----

"Are you crying?" Mark asked, hiding a grin behind his hand.

"No," Jack denied, laughing as he rubbed at the tears streaming down his face. "But you are!"

"Am not!" Mark, on the other hand, wasn't even bothering to try to wipe away his own tears.

"You're _both_ crying," Molly said, appearing behind them and wrapping an arm around each of their shoulders. "Should I take that as a massive compliment, or a massive insult?"

"Definitely a compliment," Jack said, turning to hug her.

Mark nodded in agreement. "God, Molly, you look gorgeous."

"It _is_ a pretty nice dress," she said, looking down at it as she twirled to demonstrate.

"Well, the dress is beautiful, but that's not what I was talking about," he said with a chuckle. "I meant... Um, you know that cliché about brides glowing with happiness? Well, it's apparently true."

Molly laughed. "Thank you, Mark. It really is the happiest day of my life."

Wade walked up beside her and wrapped an arm around her waist. "And mine," he said, leaning down to give her a quick kiss.

"Congratulations, you two," Jack said, beaming at the happy couple.

"Thanks, Jack," Wade said with a grin. "And thanks to both of you for being a part of it."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Mark insisted. "I'm honored that I got to be a part of this big, amazing moment."

Wade smiled gratefully at him before turning back to his wife. "I think it's nearly time for our dance, honey. We should get out there before we get swarmed by well-wishers."

"Alright. Lead the way, _hubby_ ," she emphasized with a giggle.

"Guess we'd better find our seats," Jack said, taking Mark's hand. He led him into the other room, and they sat down in two of the chairs lining the wall just as the lights dimmed. Mark squeezed his hand, and he grinned in response.

"Just look at them," Mark sighed. "I'm so happy for them. Have you ever seen a cuter couple?"

"Am I allowed to count us?" Jack joked. Mark bumped his shoulder, rolling his eyes, but he couldn't help the small laugh that escaped.

"No. No you’re not."

"Oh. Then no, I've never seen a cuter couple than Wade and Molly," he replied dutifully. The music started up, and he placed a finger to his lips. "Shh, here they come!"

They watched the first dance, glancing away occasionally to grin at each other. "I feel like a proud parent," Mark whispered at one point, and Jack struggled to keep his laughter down so as to not interrupt the scene.

When it ended, Wade and Molly waved for the wedding guests to join them. Jack turned to Mark with puppy-dog eyes. "Dance?" he pouted, and Mark sighed.

"I suppose I can't get away with not dancing at my best friend's wedding," he answered, his put-upon tone clearly fake. He stood up and held out his hand to help Jack up. "Well, let's go, then."

Jack clapped happily, accepting his hand. "Don't worry, I won't pull anything this time," he promised, tossing Mark a wink. "That would just be inappropriate at a wedding."

"No kidding," Mark replied dully.

They moved closer together, and Jack draped his arms around Mark's neck. "See? Totally innocent."

"Why don't I trust you?"

"I don't know. Why not?"

"Because you're evil and conniving."

Jack hummed, shrugging as he considered the statement. "Okay, that's fair. But I'm not a _horrible_ person, and only a horrible person would ruin their friends' wedding."

"I guess that’s true," Mark conceded as they swayed back and forth. He rested his chin on Jack's shoulder, eyes darting around to take in all of the other couples slow dancing.

"This is nice," Jack whispered. He smiled at the new husband and wife, who had moved off of the dance floor to talk to Molly's parents. They grinned back, and Molly gave him a small wave.

"It is," Mark admitted begrudgingly.

"But you know, weddings are exhausting. I want to stay here forever just to dance with you and see how happy Wade and Molly are and never forget a second of the whole wedding. But I also want to go home right this second and curl into bed with you and sleep and never get up again," Jack said with a quiet laugh.

"I'll second that."

“Well, there’s a few hours left, so I guess that’s a pretty good middle ground.”

\-----

“Are you kidding me?”

“What?” Mark asked, handing Jack a plate as he sat down next to him. Jack held up the garter with an unamused expression, and Mark tried not to blush. “Huh? I thought you weren’t going up there for the toss.”

“I didn’t,” he said flatly.

“Wait, so you caught it… from here?” He glanced up, gauging the distance between them and the crowd that was starting to disperse. Somehow, it didn’t quite add up.

“More like Wade flung it directly at me, on purpose,” Jack replied, turning to look at their friend with one eyebrow raised. Wade just waved and grinned cheekily.

“Hmm… Isn’t that convenient,” Mark said with a laugh.

“Sneaky asshole,” Jack muttered in Wade’s direction.

Mark just gave a sly smile, thinking of the box hiding in the bottom of his sock drawer, just waiting for the right moment to be revealed.

“Maybe he was just right about being able to predict the future, after all.”


End file.
